Betrayal
by allie34
Summary: A Voyager where Janeway had decided to use the array to return home. JC. The fourth part is up!
1. Part 1

Disclaimer: Paramount owns all, except this story.  
  
Author's note:  
  
Most people know that Voyager could have been a lot better than it turned out to be. Not just the disappointing last episode, or the fact that the last minute relationship between Chakotay and Seven was a little sickening for various reasons, but also some plot flaws that were either never picked up by the people with influence, or were just ignored.  
  
Three major flaws I find stem from the beginning are as follows:  
  
1) Why was Voyager sent to capture that particular Maquis vessel? Sure, they were Maquis and Maquis were, at the time, the enemy, and sure, Tuvok was under cover on that particular ship, but it still seems like a very weak reason to go and capture the ship.  
  
2) What did Voyager exactly intend to do with the Maquis ship once it was captured? Well, they could have tractor beamed it, but I won't even get started on what's wrong with that. They could have asked the Maquis ship, very nicely, to follow them back to DS9, where they could be handed in and locked up. Or, of course, Janeway could have shoved them all in the brig. However this plan has one major flaw that was picked up in an episode in one of the first series, when Voyager split in two. One Janeway pointed out to the other, that it would be a bit of a squeeze with 300 people on board Voyager. Well, if neither the Maquis ship or Voyager had lost any people as was planned, then Voyager would have been forced to accommodate over 200 people, which wouldn't have worked out very well.  
  
3) The most obvious flaw that I've noticed, is why Janeway didn't just use the array to return home and plant a bomb on it. Not just a stupid bomb like the Caretaker used, where one shot and it's deactivated, but a bomb that would explode if anything were to happen to it. If she was still worried about the array not being destroyed, Janeway has been quite willing to leave her crew and sacrifice herself for them on several occasions, so why not on this first occasion, she could have stayed behind and exploded the bomb herself.  
  
I know, I know, anyone that's bothered to read this is probably going to argue with me on one point or the other, so go ahead, I'm always open to knew points of view.  
  
About this story:  
  
In this story, Janeway did plant an explosive on the array, and sent Neelix and Kes on their merry little ways in the Delta Quadrant. She shoved the Maquis in the brig, or confined them to the grotty little quarters reserved for the extras on the show, and used the array to get back to the alpha quadrant. It sounds simple because it is.  
  
This is a J/C, and rated R, due to some implications and language such as the F word, but there is no use of the C word. Enjoy!  
  
The alarm had just become part of his dream, just a background noise that he was barely aware of. He was back there, on Voyager, his back up against the wall, trying not to be seen. His heart pounded in his ears, and it burned his lungs to continue taking shallow breaths, but he knew gasping would only draw unwanted attention and so he kept still. Footsteps approached his direction, and his heart skipped a beat with the anxiety of their approach. He could see his worried expression reflected back in B'Elanna's face, and he attempted a weak smile, but failed miserably. Eventually the footsteps passed along the corridor, and following the lead of a shout they disappeared down a different corridor.  
  
"What the hell do we do now?" B'Elanna asked through taught lips.  
  
He thought quickly, "we make our way to the shuttle bay."  
  
She could have kicked him, had it been under any other circumstances, "and how the hell are we meant to get into there? Security will be strongest there!"  
  
"Hasn't the Maquis taught you anything B'Elanna?" Chakotay joked as he stepped forwards from the comfort of the shadows and peered round the corner to check that the route was clear. B'Elanna followed suit and muttered some Klingon insult under her breath, that Chakotay either didn't hear or chose to ignore.  
  
With two more close calls from security they eventually made their way in the direction of a shuttle bay. Chakotay was about to make his way over towards the door, when a strong hand pulled him back and pushed him hard against the wall. He turned around to see B'Elanna and frowned, as if to ask why the hell she had done that. She didn't have to answer as he soon heard another team of security guards come down the corridor and stand by the entrance.  
  
"Where is the security team that was posted here?" a familiar cold Vulcan voice asked the others.  
  
"I'm not sure sir," one replied worriedly.  
  
There was a pause, "open the shuttle bay doors," the Vulcan traitor instructed.  
  
Chakotay carefully peered around the wall to see the doors open, and retracted his head just in time as a volley of shots were fired at the security team. He heard some sort of struggle as phaser blasts flew along the corridor to the side of him, and insults shouted from inside the shuttle bay that he instantly recognised as Maquis. Eventually the shots died down and again Chakotay looked around to see what was had happened. There were two security officers lying on the ground, probably dead, but the Vulcan was gone and the doors were again closed.  
  
He signalled to B'Elanna, and they both emerged from around the wall and headed towards the door. "Do you think some of them have managed to get into the shuttle bay already?" B'Elanna asked, looking down and recognising the scorch marks on the Star Fleet uniforms as the scorch marks that their weapons created.  
  
"Maybe," Chakotay replied, noticing the same scorch marks. He went over to the panel and quickly tried to type in the access code.  
  
"Access denied," the computer informed him.  
  
"Shit!" he thumped the panel.  
  
B'Elanna snorted, "let me guess, someone told you the wrong access code? Well, I can't see why they might do that!"  
  
"She didn't tell me the wrong code," he said, punching it again.  
  
"Who?" she asked, just as the computer again told them that access had been denied, "Janeway?"  
  
He didn't answer her directly, "she must have changed it."  
  
"Of course she would change the code Chakotay!" B'Elanna pointed out.  
  
He turned round to her, "I thought she was a Maquis sympathiser, obviously I was wrong," he said, turning his attention to one of the security guards on the ground who was starting to stir.  
  
"Yes," B'Elanna said sarcastically as Chakotay crouched on the ground, "if I was a Star Fleet Admiral I would probably send a sympathising Captain to capture a Maquis ship. What fucking universe are you from Chakotay?"  
  
Again he didn't answer her, "can you hear me?" he asked the half conscious officer on the ground. There was no worthwhile reply, the guy obviously had concussion. Chakotay grabbed the phaser from the officer's belt and returned to his full height.  
  
"What are you going to do? Shoot the door down?" Both B'Elanna and Chakotay turned to see Tom Paris standing in the middle of the corridor.  
  
"How did you get here?" Chakotay asked as he pointed the gun at Tom.  
  
Tom raised his hands in the air defensively, "the Captain's too busy trying to stop anyone buggering off with one of her shuttles that she didn't notice me slip off the bridge."  
  
"What do you want Paris?" he kept his gun pointed at Tom.  
  
Tom shrugged, "same thing as you: to get off this ship," Chakotay looked at him, unconvinced, "if I stay, the first thing Janeway will do when we get back is throw me back in prison to finish off the rest of my sentence, I think I'd rather take my chances with you to be honest."  
  
Chakotay stared coldly at him, "and what makes you think that I won't kill you right now?"  
  
This time Tom laughed, "two reasons Chakotay, one- you owe me your life, and two- well, I have the access codes to get into the shuttle bay."  
  
There was a pause from the Maquis Captain before he lowered his weapon, "the first sign that I think you're going to betray me Paris, don't think I won't hesitate to shoot you!"  
  
Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light. Chakotay's eyes clenched tightly shut, until he decided to slowly open them. He turned his head to one side and saw Logan hurriedly pulling on clothes. "What's going on?" he asked, sitting up, now aware that there was an alarm.  
  
"Jail break," Logan explained, before pulling on a jacket and heading for a door, he turned back round to his cell mate, "I don't know how much longer it's going to take them to put out the fire and get power back up, so I suggest you hurry if you want to get out of this shit hole!" And with that he disappeared out of the door.  
  
Chakotay blinked hard and woke himself up fully, although not totally understanding what was going on he decided that he'd rather take his chance and get out while he could, in favour of staying and filling out the remaining three years of his sentence. In a rush he pulled on the first pair of trousers he found, and then the first pair of shoes he came across, but didn't bother with a top, as he couldn't see one lying immediately by. He quickly made his way out of the cell, and never saw it again.  
  
Kathryn pinched the bridge of her nose and sat back in her seat, "Donnie, you're not listening to me," she said in a strained voice.  
  
The man on the screen in front of her let out a long breath, "Kathryn, I've been listening to you for the past ten minutes, and it still doesn't change anything! I can't just turned round to Star Fleet and tell them to find another ship, because my wife wants to see me and can't wait until the mission is over! Star Fleet's stretched for ships as it is, you of all people should know that. When was the last time you took shore leave? or didn't work a double shift without the doctor having to sedate you so that you would take some time off?"  
  
She sighed, she knew he was right, "okay," her admission of defeat came at last, "I'll see you in a few months then."  
  
"If we're lucky," he joked softly, but part of him was pained at the truth of his own words.  
  
Kathryn attempted a weak smile, "bye," she reached out to press a button to terminate the call.  
  
"Kathryn," he said quickly before she ended the transmission, she looked up tiredly at him, "I love you," he smiled, "you know that right?"  
  
She returned the smile, but it quickly faded, "what part of this mission aren't you telling me about Donnie?"  
  
He shrugged, "I've got to go Kathryn, I'll see you later." Before she could respond he ended the conversation and the screen went blank.  
  
Letting out a deep breath she sank back into her chair, feeling another head ache coming on. Her moment of peace lasted only a few seconds as her comm badge bleeped, it was Tuvok.  
  
"Captain, we have picked up a Maquis distress signal."  
  
Kathryn gently massaged her temples as she stood from her seat, "thank you Tuvok, I'll be right there."  
  
Moments later she emerged from her ready room onto the bridge, "the ship just dropped out of warp and seems to be venting plasma badly," an ensign shouted out.  
  
Kathryn sat down on her seat, "are we within contact range?" she asked.  
  
"Yes Captain," Harry replied from behind his console, "but their communication systems are down."  
  
"Yellow alert, shields at full, and prepare phaser banks for firing and set a course for the Maquis vessel," she instructed, having learnt all too many times that the Maquis were experts at crying wolf. "And Tom," she added, "be prepared to out manoeuvre them."  
  
"Yes ma'am," he smiled, glad to finally have some non-Cardassian action.  
  
As the distance closed between Voyager and the Maquis ship their sensors were able to give them much more information about the status of the other vessel. "Forty nine life signs," Kim reported, "twelve are very weak. They've lost shields, weapons, communications and life support is failing."  
  
Kathryn stood from her seat, "transport the twelve to sickbay and the others to cargo bay 4. Tuvok, I want security down there immediately, and ensure that all exits are secured; I don't want a Maquis rampage!"  
  
"Aye Captain," he said as he made his way towards the turbo lift.  
  
"Transport of the 12 is complete, initiating transport of the remaining crew." Harry almost jumped out of his skin when his console bleeped, "Captain," he said, his voice a little panicked, "sensors show that their warp core is about to breach!"  
  
"How long?"  
  
"Three minutes, at a quick guess," Harry stammered.  
  
"Tom, I want us out of here before that warp core makes a dent in this ship!" she shouted over to the helm. "Have we got them all yet Harry?"  
  
"Final transport in progress," he paused, "complete."  
  
"Tom, get us out of here!" She barked, and the ship immediately came about and went to warp. Once clear Kathryn settled back in her seat.  
  
"The warp core just breached," Harry informed her, "it took the entire ship with it."  
  
"Good work Harry," she smiled tiredly and stood back up, "Tom, you have the bridge." Before any one could give her any more bad news she walked off the bridge and into the turbo lift.  
  
Two ensigns stood outside the cargo bay doors, armed with phasers. "Where's Commander Tuvok?" Kathryn asked as she approached them.  
  
"In the Cargo bay," one of them answered.  
  
"Tuvok to Janeway," her comm badge activated.  
  
Kathryn smiled curtly at the two ensigns before tapping her comm badge in response, "Janeway here."  
  
"The Maquis leader has requested to speak with you Captain."  
  
"I'm right outside the cargo bay," she informed him before heading towards the doors. After tapping in an access code she entered straight in, immediately confronted with tens of very displeased Maquis faces.  
  
Tuvok saw her entrance and made his way over to her. She saw his approach and briefly gave him a relieved smile, which faded as soon as she saw who was in tow behind her first officer. Of all the Maquis ships she could have saved, she would have to save the one with Chakotay on board.  
  
Chakotay looked momentarily stunned when he saw her, but covered up his surprise and smiled politely, "Captain Janeway," he acknowledged politely.  
  
"Chakotay," she smiled tightly at him, "am I to assume that they ran out of Captains in the Maquis and in their desperation gave you another ship?"  
  
He smiled despite himself, "afraid so," he shrugged, "Commander Tuvok tells me that you transported the injured to sickbay."  
  
She nodded, "yes, once the medical team is finished with them I could ask them to go over your crew," she said, looking around and noticing many were covered with blood and cradling broken limbs.  
  
"If it's not too much trouble," he said, noticing the same for himself.  
  
She shook her head, "the only trouble would be if you tried to take over the ship. Unfortunately the brig isn't big enough for you all, and it will take a while to assign you all quarters, so I'm afraid the cargo bay will have to do for a while."  
  
Chakotay nodded, "it's better than a ship with failing life support I guess." Just as he finished his sentence a figure came lunging towards the three of them, Chakotay reacted immediately and jumped on the enraged half Klingon, taking her to the ground with him. He managed to dodge some of the blows she was throwing him with her fist, but one caught him on the chin and a crunch could be heard as his jaw broke. He jumped off her quickly, and in the confusion as to why he had given up on restraining her so easily, she forgot all about her attack on Star Fleet.  
  
"Sorry Chakotay," she apologised, leaning over to make sure he was okay.  
  
He stood up and nodded, "ish's okay," he said rubbing his jaw gingerly.  
  
Kathryn looked down to see B'Elanna Torres stand from the floor. B'Elanna saw the Captain staring, and her anger returned, "what the hell do you do that for? Transport us off the ship I mean! I'd almost gotten that warp core under control!"  
  
"Well if you had have told me that, I would have asked Ensign Kim to leave you on the ship," Kathryn said as politely as she could.  
  
This just enraged B'Elanna further and was about to retort when Chakotay held up his hand, "'Ello-a, 'at 'or core coul'un' 'e sha'e'," he attempted to speak without moving his jaw too much.  
  
Kathryn stepped forwards, concern written over her face, "that jaw looks painful," she said, and reached out to touch his jaw line. He pulled his face away from her a little, as her skin made contact with his, but she persisted and prodded gently at his jaw.  
  
"Ah," the word involuntarily escaped his lips and she smiled kindly at him.  
  
"That jaw looks broken, we'd better get you to sickbay," she said, heading towards the cargo bay's exit with him and Tuvok in tow. "Ms Torres," she shouted over her shoulder, "you can come with us if you want someone to see to your broken knuckles."  
  
It had originally been planned that after Voyager had been to DS6 it would rendezvous with the Geneva, (one of the few ships built by Star Fleet for the specific task of fighting) for a crew exchange. However, this was the ship under the command of none other than Captain Donnie Sutherland, who had been assigned a different mission at the last minute. This pissed both Captains off for various reasons, but Donnie especially because he had been planning on visiting some of his family back on Earth after the crew exchange with Voyager.  
  
Kathryn relaxed back in the bath, totally exhausted from the long shift. Sickbay had been horrendous, and the EMH had even been brought back online, to help to cope with the casualties. It was the he who had seen to both Chakotay's and B'Elanna's injuries, raising an eyebrow when realising the force that had broken the Captain's jaw was the same as that which had broken two of B'Elanna's knuckles.  
  
She hadn't stayed long after that, preferring to go through reports rather than to spend awkward time with Chakotay. It had been weird seeing him again after four years, and she still wasn't sure what to make of him. On one hand he was kind and compassionate, but then on the other, he had joined the Maquis with the main aim to annihilate all Cardassian's. He was the sort of person that you would rely on and trust, but who wouldn't rely on you or maybe not even trust you yourself. With him he carried an air of respect and authority, and yet Kathryn also noticed a vulnerability about him that she couldn't quite explain. In the end she had given up on trying to understand him, and had just tried to forget about him.  
  
Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone at the door. Letting out a sigh she climbed out of the bath and grabbed a towel, quickly drying herself as she looked for her silk robe. Eventually she found it and slipped it over her naked form before exiting the bathroom. Just as she walked through the doors the bleep came again. Pissed off that someone had interrupted her relaxation time in the bath she muttered something under her breath that the visitor had better have a very good reason for coming to see her.  
  
She pressed the button at the side of the door and came face to face with her Commander. "Hi Tuvok," she said, turning back round and heading towards her sofa, "is there something I can help you with?" she frowned when noticing that he hadn't followed her into her quarters as he normally did.  
  
"Captain Chakotay has requested to speak with you," he informed her.  
  
"Then unless it's important tell him that I'm busy," she said annoyed, Chakotay was the last person she wanted to see at that moment.  
  
"You can tell me yourself," she looked up sharply to see Chakotay standing in the entrance to her quarters.  
  
There was brief moment where their eyes locked, and the emotions that seemed to pass between them both almost overwhelmed her and she had to look away; breaking the connection.  
  
"Can we talk?" he asked, stepping forwards a little.  
  
She pinched the bridge of her nose and looked across at Tuvok, "can you leave us? I'll contact you when Chakotay's ready to be escorted back to the guest quarters."  
  
Tuvok hesitated a moment, but nodded and left, thinking it best not to argue her decision. Chakotay hung back at the door as Kathryn crossed her quarters and went towards her replicater, "computer, coffee, black," she instructed. "Chakotay we could have a conversation in the entrance to my quarters or you could come in and sit down- really, it's up to you!"  
  
Sensing her fowl mood he entered cautiously, and waited until she was again sitting on the sofa with her coffee, before he joined her and sat opposite her in an arm chair. "How are you?" he started.  
  
Kathryn shook her head, "never ask me that whilst I'm in the middle of a war unless you want a very long listed response!"  
  
He chuckled lightly, "you get used to it after a few years."  
  
She didn't see the funny side and just looked up coldly at him.  
  
"I heard you're married," he changed the subject.  
  
"So what? Lots of people are married."  
  
Chakotay shrugged, "not to a different man than they said they were engaged to."  
  
"My engagement to Mark fell apart, he couldn't understand why I sometimes chose Star Fleet over him," she responded monotonically, "Donnie's in Star Fleet, and although understands a little better, still gets pissed off when I dump spending quality time with him for a mission. And vice versa," she added on reflection. She looked up sharply at him, and studied him a little more intensely, "can we move on from the pleasantries and maybe get on to why are you here?."  
  
He smiled softly, "I wanted to take the opportunity to apologise. I'm sure if it had have been the other way round, you would have done anything you could have to get your crew off from my ship, especially if you knew that you'd be sentence to ten years or so in prison if you stayed on board." He paused and took a deep breath, looking away from her, "I didn't plan what happened, I just saw an opportunity to get off the ship and I took it."  
  
She nodded slowly and took a sip of her coffee, "I guessed as much, why else to you think that I asked Star Fleet to reduce your sentence after your actions in the delta quadrant?"  
  
"I never got a chance to thank you for that," he said honestly.  
  
She shrugged, "not that it made much difference, you escaped after just a year anyway." She looked curiously across at him, "how did you manage that by the way."  
  
He laughed, "you think I had any part in planning that escape? No, my cell mate told me that the power to the prison had been cut and I legged it out of there. I found out later it was a former member of my crew, Seska, that had set everything up for some of us to escape."  
  
Kathryn thought for a moment, "I think I remember her, Bejoran right?"  
  
He nodded and smiled shyly, "we married just over a year ago, and our daughter Taya was born just under four months ago."  
  
It came as a little of a surprise to Kathryn to learn that he had settled down, but she smiled politely, "congratulations."  
  
Chakotay beamed, "I'd love for you to meet them, they were on the ship with me when we ran into trouble with the Cardassians; Seska insists on staying where the fighting is-"  
  
He stopped short when hearing a swish of doors opening. Both Captains looked around sharply at the source of the noise to see a small boy emerge from a room dressed in pyjamas and holding a teddy bear. Kathryn's face softened a little as the boy came running towards her, "honey, what are you doing out of bed?" she asked as he climbed onto her lap.  
  
"Couldn't sleep," he replied, and then looked curiously across at the man sitting opposite from him, "who's dat?" he leant his head right back and looked up at Kathryn as he pointed to Chakotay.  
  
"Chakotay, the Maquis Captain," she said dismissively, and changed the topic, "why couldn't you sleep?"  
  
He shrugged, and looked curiously back at Chakotay, "do you fight people?"  
  
Chakotay looked awkwardly across at Kathryn for help. She placed a hand on the boy's head and ran her fingers through his jet black hair, "Chakotay, this is my son Aaron."  
  
"Hi," Chakotay smiled at the small child briefly and then looked up at Kathryn, "I didn't know that you had any children," he confessed, "especially not on board Voyager."  
  
Kathryn shrugged, "the original plan was for me to meet up with Donnie, my husband, and he would have taken him back to Earth, but Donnie's been given a different assignment, so Aaron will just have to stay with me a little longer on board the ship."  
  
The small boy on her lap beamed proudly and nodded, "my mummy's the Captain," he explained to Chakotay.  
  
"Well in that case I think I'd better order you to go back to bed," she lifted him from her lap and set him on the ground.  
  
Aaron turned round and looked up pleadingly at his mother, "can I stay up a little longer, please?" She shook her head, "fine, but can you come in later to read me a story?"  
  
As she looked down at her son she was again reminded how much he had changed since she had left him with her mother some six months earlier, and although tired, she decided that she wanted to spend as much time with him as possible before she had to let go of him again. "Okay," she agreed.  
  
He instantly smiled, and ran off in the direction of his room, "nice to meet you Chotay," he shouted over his shoulder just before he disappeared through the doors to his bedroom.  
  
Kathryn returned her attention to Chakotay, her smile faltering slightly, "I'd better go and see to him, shall I call Tuvok and tell him that you're ready to leave?"  
  
Chakotay looked steadily at her, "how old is he?"  
  
She paused, understanding what he was getting at, and seeing no point in beating around the bush she decided it would be easier just to tell him. "Old enough to be your son," she replied without flinching.  
  
He covered his face with a hand and ran it down to his chin, "he's mine?"  
  
"Well, he's not Mark's, and he's certainly not Donnie's, so I guess that leaves you," she folded her arms, suddenly wishing she hadn't agreed to speak with him.  
  
"Oh spirits," Chakotay swallowed hard, "I'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
She shrugged, "you were in prison by the time I found out I was pregnant, and even then I wasn't sure if it was you or Mark that was the father. Don't be sorry, Aaron's one of the best things that's ever happened to me, probably wrong timing, wrong man, but I wouldn't change anything, I wouldn't change him."  
  
Chakotay nodded slowly and stood, "I don't want to waste any more of your time, maybe you should call Tuvok and tell him I'm ready to go back to my quarters."  
  
Kathryn ran a hand through her hair and stood also, "Janeway to Tuvok," she said as she slapped the comm badge on her robe.  
  
"Tuvok here," her commander replied.  
  
"Could you please escort Captain Chakotay back to his assigned quarters?" she looked across at Chakotay, and he nodded with a weak smile.  
  
"I'll be there to escort the Captain in a few moments," Tuvok replied.  
  
The mess hall was more crowded than usual, with sixty more people wanting breakfast than usual. Seska shifted the baby in her arms slightly and looked curiously across at her husband. He had been quiet all evening, and then quiet all morning. Although he was never one to be loud and out going, except maybe when he was drunk, he usually ate his food rather than sitting and playing with it.  
  
"Is there something wrong Chakotay?"  
  
He looked up sharply from his bowl and looked across at Seska, "no, why do you ask that?"  
  
"You haven't eaten a bite since you replicated that- sludge that you're eating," she pointed out.  
  
Chakotay shrugged dismissively, "I'm just not very hungry."  
  
Suddenly there was a slight change in the atmosphere in the room. People who had been shouting settled for talking, and the amount of hushed conversations increased. Wondering what had caused the change Chakotay looked over his shoulder to see Kathryn walking across the mess hall with her small son walking beside her holding her hand. Suddenly he felt a lot sicker.  
  
"Of all the ships that could have rescued us, we would have to be rescued by the one under her command," Seska said as Chakotay looked back round at his wife.  
  
He frowned, "what's that supposed to mean?"  
  
She laughed hollowly, "Chakotay, have you completely forgotten that she sent you to prison?"  
  
"Captain Janeway was just doing her job," he didn't really know why he had to defend her when she wasn't even there, but something about Seska bad mouthing her stirred something deep inside him. "Besides, she did manage to reduce most of our sentences."  
  
"Oh, how noble of her," Seska said sarcastically, "to be honest I'd rather be on a Cardassian ship!"  
  
That was it, Chakotay stood suddenly from his seat, causing a few people to look over at the couple, curiously. He leant over the table towards her and muttered so that only she would hear, "with that attitude I think you'd be better off on a Cardassian ship!"  
  
Before he could pull away from her she pulled his collar and kept him close to her so that she could reply, "what? And have you daughter raised a Cardassian?"  
  
She released him and he pulled back, glaring at her. There was a small noise from the baby in her arms before she went into a full chorus of crying. Seska stood from her seat, "you have to go and upset Taya don't you?" and with that she left the mess hall, Chakotay leaving soon after in a different direction.  
  
They sat eating dinner in her quarters. It was formal, with her still in uniform, but the candles and wine gave a casual atmosphere. They stayed in a comfortable silence for a short while before Chakotay broke it, "my last meal right?"  
  
Kathryn looked up and grinned crookedly, "something like that I guess."  
  
He nodded taking a sip of wine, "tastes good, you cooked it yourself?"  
  
She laughed lightly, "no, I have a team of cooks that prepare all of my meals for me." He nodded, which just made her laugh harder, "I'm sorry, bad joke. I replicated, I can't cook to save my life."  
  
Chakotay grinned despite his gullibility, "well you had to operate the replicater I guess."  
  
"Hmm," she looked down at her plate, stifling a grin before looking back at her guest, "I'm not too good with replicaters either, I spent an hour trying to fix the damn thing before you came tonight."  
  
He laughed, "how did you ever survive with minimal replicater rations at the academy?"  
  
"I made sure that all of my boyfriends could cook."  
  
The sincerity of her words caused him to laugh harder. Eventually his laughter subsided and they went on to talking about their different experiences of their first few years of being in Star Fleet. Some time later they slipped into a comfortable silence again, the only sound coming from the their gentle breathing and the cutlery clashing against the plates. Chakotay looked back across at Kathryn and studied her curiously as she sipped some more wine. He was amazed how someone so petite could command so much respect from her crew, and while being strict and formal, she could quickly switch to a very casual and elegant woman.  
  
She looked up and saw him looking intensely at her, and frowned as if to question what was up. He smiled, "I can cook," he said flirtatiously.  
  
"I'm sure you can," she said in an equally flirtatious voice.  
  
He had to admit he was surprised at her response, expecting her to maybe ask him to leave her quarters, or to change the subject. "How much longer do I have here before security bursts in?" he asked, wondering how far this flirting would go.  
  
Kathryn stood from her seat and made her way over to him, leaning in towards him, her breath falling lightly on his lips. The flirting had surpassed Chakotay's expectations and just as he began to subconsciously moisten his lips, and close the gap between himself and Kathryn she pulled back a little. "Coffee?" she asked completely naturally.  
  
He was too shocked to answer fully and just nodded slightly, wondering what the hell had just happened. She made her way over to the replicater and typed in her request. The space between her and Chakotay gave her time to think about what the hell she was doing, she was aware that she was playing him, but didn't know why. She was a Star Fleet Captain and he was a Maquis prisoner, she shouldn't even be having dinner with him, let alone trying to seduce him.  
  
The coffee materialised and she felt two arms come around her waist, she would have resisted if he hadn't have gone straight for her neck. He tucked her long hair behind her ear and started to place small kisses up her neck, stopping at her ear and tugging gently at her ear lobe with his teeth. "Do you do last requests as well?" Chakotay asked as his hand crept round and touched her inner thigh, moving up her body and cupping around her breast.  
  
She turned around looped her arm around the back of his neck and kissed him on his lips. At first the kiss was hard and unsure, until they found each other and the kiss became softer and more gentle.  
  
Suddenly Kathryn broke from the kiss, and in confusion and shock Chakotay's hands dropped from around her smaller form. She leant her forehead against his shoulder and breathed deeply, trying to figure out what to do. They were still very close to each other and she could feel him pressing less and less urgently against her as he too rethought what he was doing. Eventually she looked up and locked her eyes with his, reaching up and tenderly cupping one side of his jaw in her hand. "What are we doing?" she asked him.  
  
He turned his head slightly in her hand and kissed her palm, before covering her hand in his own. "Would you like me to leave?"  
  
Kathryn shook her head, "this is so wrong," she looked away from him, "you shouldn't be here, we shouldn't be doing this, but I don't want you to leave."  
  
"Do you want to have that coffee?" he regained his confidence with her and placed an arm around her waist.  
  
She noticed his approach and pulled back from him completely, "I think maybe you'd better go," she said with her back to him, returning to Captain mode.  
  
He got the message and went to the door, turning back round just before he pressed the button at the side to exit, "thank you for dinner Kathryn."  
  
Chakotay turned back round and was about to leave her quarters when she called out to him, "don't go." He looked back at her and saw her walking towards him, she quickly closed the distance between them and grabbed his hand. Before he could say anything she was leading him towards her bedroom.  
  
Kathryn was in a hurry, padd in one hand and coffee in the other she poked her head through the doors to her son's bedroom, to see him sprawled on the floor with lines of plastic army men in front of him. "I thought I told you to get dressed?"  
  
He looked up sheepishly and grinned widely, "want to play?"  
  
She raised an eyebrow and glared right at him. Most of her ensigns would crumble under the death glare, but not her three and a half year old son. He looked right back at her, with a wide dimpled grin spread across his face. "Get dressed!" she instructed, determined not to give into him.  
  
Aaron stood reluctantly from the floor and stomped over to a draw. Satisfied that he was doing what he'd been asked she left the room. No sooner had she done so, there was a bleep from the door. Assuming that it was Tuvok there to give her the daily report she called "enter".  
  
Chakotay entered her quarters unsurely and looked around to see her shocked expression as she saw him. "Sorry," he smiled sheepishly, "did I catch you at a bad time?"  
  
She walked passed him and over to her kitchen area, "every time's a bad time, is there something in particular you wanted Captain?"  
  
"Well," he entered further into her quarters, and the door closed behind him, "I've just found out that I'm the father of your son, I was kind of hoping we could talk about it."  
  
Kathryn took a sip of coffee and rested her padds down on the table in front of her, "I don't see what there is to talk about," she rested her hand on her hip and stared at him coldly.  
  
He thought about that for a moment, what was there to talk about? "Well, what if I could have some time with him, get to know my own son maybe?"  
  
"No," she raised a hand in the air and shook her head, "Donnie is his father, I'm not going to let you just come here and destroy that."  
  
"I'm not talking about telling Aaron that I'm his real father, but now that I know he's my son I think that I do have some right to spend some time with him." Chakotay closed the gap between them and looked pleadingly at Kathryn.  
  
It looked like she was about to give in for a moment as she looked down at the ground thinking about what was the right thing to do, and then her head sprung back up and she looked hard at Chakotay. "Voyager's on course to rendezvous with a Maquis vessel, we'll arrive at our destination in three days. Tell your crew not to get too comfortable, to replicate anything they desperately need, and to have a full medical while they're within reach of a decent doctor." She paused for a moment, "if you want to spend time with my son, I think that I can spare an hour or so this evening if you'd like to come round, but my crew must not find out that you're his father. Is that understood?"  
  
He nodded slowly, "thank you."  
  
Chakotay returned to his quarters some hours later to hear his daughter screaming at the top of her lungs. Seska turned round to see him enter, and made her way over to him leaving the baby in her basinet, "what's wrong?" he asked, just as he received a full on slap across the face from his wife.  
  
"What the hell was that for?" He put a hand up to his cheek and rubbed it.  
  
"Don't fucking play innocent with me Chakotay!" she shouted. "When were you planning on telling me that you knocked up that whore of a Captain?"  
  
His jaw dropped a few inches, she'd found out.  
  
"Oh, you didn't think I'd find out did you? Well I have! You bastard!" She slapped him once more, this time harder.  
  
He walked passed her and over to his child, "you don't know what you're talking about Seska," he said as he picked Taya up and held her against his chest, bouncing her gently to get her to quieten down. "Who's told you all that bullshit anyway?"  
  
"You're denying it?" she said in disbelief, "you're actually bothering to deny this?"  
  
He didn't answer her, and gently shushed his daughter. It worked and she quietened down, but Seska was just as mad as when he'd entered the room, if not worse, but she kept a shushed tone as to avoid starting off the screaming enfant again. "Chakotay, I was in the mess hall when that bastard child of yours came in with his minder, I've never seen anyone look more like you!"  
  
"You're delusional," Chakotay insisted, gently placing Taya back under her blankets.  
  
"Don't fucking call me delusional Chakotay," she closed the gap between them, "what did you do? Rape her?" He looked away from her, she realised that she'd struck on something and so decided to keep digging, "that's it isn't it? I never thought you were capable. Is this the first time or have there been others?" He didn't answer, she went right up close to his face, "did you enjoy it?"  
  
At her words he turned round slowly, his mouth clenched tightly shut, not trusting himself to respond straight away. There was something about Seska that brought out his worst side, that aggravated him more than any Cardassian ever could, but then at the same time there was part of him that loved it. That loved the conflict and the anger, the pain. She was his punishment for being alive while his family died at the hands of the Cardassians, and something about this knowledge made him sleep a little easier at night. It made him feel just that little less guilt ridden.  
  
"Was it good Chakotay?" She continued to torment him, knowing that she was striking a nerve.  
  
He breathed in a deep and shaky breath, and let it out in the same way, keeping his back to her, not trusting himself to turn around. She approached him from behind and slipped her arms around him, "did you ever think of her Chakotay?" Her hands reached down, "when you were on top of me?"  
  
That was the last straw, he turned round suddenly and grasped her violently by the shoulders, "shut up!" he shouted.  
  
"Or what? You'll do to me what you did to her, go on, I dare you." She smiled cruelly, "I'll resist you if you want me to, does that turn you on?"  
  
Chakotay dropped her shoulders as if they burnt, "I knew there was a reason why I haven't touched you since our wedding night." He spat coldly in her face, before making his way towards the exit of the guest quarters.  
  
End of part one 


	2. part 2

Disclaimer: Star Trek Voyager and most of the characters are property of Paramount.  
  
A very good point you made Raven Sage- yeah, the flash backs are meant to be confusing, they haven't accidentally been put in without any warning; I did that on purpose. However, if anyone is really confused on what is a flashback and what's not, then I guess I could put in little ''s at the beginning and end or something- but I'd rather not.  
  
Part two  
  
Kathryn nestled into his side with his arms wrapped comfortably around her as they lay tangled beneath the sheets of her bed. "You do this for all your prisoners?" he joked softly as he kissed her forehead.  
  
She ran her hand up his hairless chest, "no, just the ones that can cook."  
  
Chakotay chuckled lightly. "But seriously, how much longer do I have here?"  
  
She closed her eyes tiredly, "if you don't leave in about twenty minutes then Tuvok will probably contact me to make sure that everything's okay, and if you don't leave half an hour after that, then security will come in."  
  
"That's a little late if something were to happen to you though?" He said thoughtfully.  
  
She shifted a little against his side, "my life signs are being monitored constantly, the first sign of trouble and a security team will storm in and detain you."  
  
He ran his fingers through her long hair, "am I really that dangerous?"  
  
Kathryn pushed herself up onto an elbow and looked down at him. He smiled up at her, but she didn't return the smile, "you know this can't change anything?"  
  
He nodded, "I know."  
  
"I still have to hand you into Star Fleet," she explained.  
  
"I know," he smiled softly at her, "do you think I'm a criminal?"  
  
She shook her head, "no."  
  
"Then that's all I need," he said pulling her on top of him.  
  
"You're not going to try and convince me to let you go?" She propped her self comfortably above him.  
  
"Do you want me to?" He pouted and she leaned forwards and kissed him lightly on the lips.  
  
Kathryn smiled, "you can try but I don't think it would work very well."  
  
"Okay," he thought for a moment, "what if I said I liked you very much."  
  
"I wouldn't believe it."  
  
"Oh," he put on a face of mock insult, "I see you're going to be a tough one to break." He thought again, and as an idea came to mind he smiled, "what if I told you that, being with you has made me see the errors of my ways, and because of you I'm willing to leave the Maquis and settle down with you- maybe start a family."  
  
She laughed, "um, no, still not convinced."  
  
"What if I told you that you complete me, and I think that I'm falling in love with you."  
  
"I don't know, it sounds a little corny," she confessed, pretending to think deeply about it.  
  
His smile faded, "well what if it was the truth, would it change anything?"  
  
Before she could answer, her comm badge bleeped, "Tuvok to Janeway."  
  
Not taking her eyes from Chakotay she reached over and grasped the badge from her night stand, "Janeway here," she replied.  
  
"Some of the Maquis have escaped," he informed her.  
  
"How many?" she moved off from her prisoner and climbed out of the bed.  
  
"Ten or so," Tuvok elaborated.  
  
She sighed, "yellow alert, find them, detain them, I'll be right over." She chucked her comm badge back on the bed and went over to a draw to remove some clean underwear.  
  
"Does it change anything?"  
  
Kathryn turned round sharply to see Chakotay sitting up in the bed, she glanced to where she had left her comm badge and couldn't see it. Her eyes moved over to Chakotay's hand, where she saw the glint of her gold badge. "Does what change anything?"  
  
He stood from the bed, "come with me."  
  
"Return my comm badge!"  
  
Chakotay shook his head, "come with me and help me get off this ship."  
  
"I can't do that," she said tersely.  
  
"Then give me the access codes to your shuttle bays."  
  
"And what if I don't do either?" She said stubbornly.  
  
He closed the gap between them, "then I'll give Star Fleet a proper reason to come after me."  
  
"You bastard!" she slapped him hard across the face.  
  
Choosing not to respond to that action he took a step back, "get dressed," he said, moving over towards her bed side table and going through her top draw. Eventually finding the phaser that he had guessed was there, he turned back round and pointed it at her, "I don't have much time."  
  
They both dressed quickly, although Chakotay took a little more time, finding it difficult to juggle the phaser as he dressed. He chucked her comm badge back to her, which she caught and looked back at him confused, "contact Tuvok and tell him that I have you hostage, then tell him to let all of my Maquis crew go or I will shoot you."  
  
"3 4 8 3 Omega Janeway," she said instead.  
  
"What's that?" he frowned.  
  
"The access code you wanted," she replied with an anger boiling below her calm composure.  
  
He shook his head, "you could change them when I'm gone, you'll have to come with me."  
  
"What if I said I believed you and that it did change something?" she looked sincerely at him, "I can't come with you, but I can make sure that you're not recaptured."  
  
He nodded, "I'll stun the security on my way out, thanks."  
  
Chakotay walked along the corridor towards the turbo lift, but stopped short at hearing two familiar voices. He listened harder, although not hearing the exact words, he worked out that the female voice belonged to B'Elanna, but who the male voice belonged to he couldn't be sure. He back tracked a little way, and took a left down the corridor, following the source of the conversation.  
  
"No, no, no, no, no," he muttered to himself under his breath, as he turned a corner just in time to see Tom Paris and B'Elanna kiss. Not wanting to watch any more he made his way back towards the turbo lift, "of all the men," he muttered again to himself just as the doors to the turbo lift opened and he stepped inside. "Of all the frigging men!" he said a little louder as the turbo lift started to move up, "she would have to fall to the Paris 'charm'."  
  
The doors opened and he stepped out, today really wasn't turning out to be his day. That morning he'd had an earful from Kathryn, and then even more of an earful from Seska, not to mention a red cheek, and now- no, he couldn't even bare to think about it. Maybe he'd have a talk with her about it later, but it wasn't really anything to do with him, but then again, she was his best friend, and Paris was one of his least more favourite people.  
  
Before he pressed the button at the side of the doors he took a deep calming breath in, deciding that he didn't want to be in a bad mood when he entered her quarters. The short meditation worked to an extent, and he pressed to enter, but there was no immediate response. After a minute he pressed the button at the side of her quarters once more, but again, there was no response. He was just about to leave when he heard someone approaching from behind.  
  
Chakotay turned to see Kathryn approach with Aaron on her hip, she smiled at him, "sorry," she said, getting to her door and punching in the access code, "I lost track of time, you haven't been waiting too long have you?"  
  
He shook his head and followed her inside, "a minute maybe."  
  
She dropped Aaron on the floor, "Aaron, you remember Chakotay don't you?" she asked over her shoulder as she headed towards the replicater.  
  
The small boy nodded and looked up at the Maquis Captain who seemed to tower above him, "you're a Maquis aren't you?"  
  
Chakotay nodded, "I am."  
  
"Why?" Aaron continued to look up at him.  
  
"Chakotay, would you like a drink?" Kathryn called over from the kitchen area of her quarters.  
  
He looked over at her, "I'll have whatever you're having."  
  
"Coffee?"  
  
"That'd be great," he smiled, and returned his attention back to Aaron, who was still looking eagerly up at him. "You want to know why I joined the Maquis?" The boy nodded, "well, I guess because I share the same ideals as the Maquis."  
  
Kathryn walked over to the two of them, and handed Chakotay a coffee, whilst taking a sip of her own and heading towards the sofa. Chakotay followed her, and sat down besides her on the sofa, while Aaron lounged in the armchair and looked across at his mother, "Chakotay and the Maquis like the same things, like you and Tom."  
  
"So I'm a Tom?" he frowned.  
  
"No honey," Kathryn rose an eyebrow at the thought, "because if you did become more like Tom Paris then you would be a mildly bad Comedian." She explained.  
  
He nodded, returning his attention to Chakotay, "so you like killing people?"  
  
Chakotay shook his head, "no, it's just my family was killed by some aliens called the Cardassians, and Star Fleet let them get away with it, so I joined the Maquis to stop the Cardassians from doing the same to other people."  
  
Aaron nodded, "but Star Fleet's doing that now aren't they? So why do you want to stay with the Maquis?"  
  
That had him a little stumped, technically there was no reason to stay with the Maquis other than loyalty, but then explaining the concept of loyalty to a three year old seemed a little too daunting for Chakotay.  
  
"It's not so much a case of Chakotay needing to fight the Cardassians with the Maquis, but more a matter of the Maquis needing Chakotay to help them fight," Kathryn came in a saved him.  
  
Chakotay nodded and smiled across at Kathryn, "something like that," he said more to her than to Aaron.  
  
"Oh," the boy leant his head back, already bored with the topic. Suddenly he sprung his head forwards and looked back at Chakotay, "would you like to see my television?" he asked.  
  
Chakotay frowned but nodded, "I'd love to," then he looked across at Kathryn, "if that's okay with your mother of course?"  
  
She grinned, "sure, I have work to do though, so you'll have to keep an eye on him, just make sure he doesn't try to eat any small objects."  
  
"I'm not a baby!" Aaron insisted as he jumped out of his seat.  
  
Kathryn raised an eyebrow, "sometimes I wonder though when you shove those plastics soldier things in your mouth."  
  
He just rolled his eyes at her, "my bedroom's this way," he said over his shoulder to Chakotay as he started to run towards his room.  
  
Chakotay hung back a little and turned to Kathryn, "thanks," he smiled.  
  
She shrugged, "you have an hour, no longer."  
  
However, that hour turned into two, and then three as Aaron had a quick dinner, and then four as Aaron went to bed and Chakotay had dinner with Kathryn, and then five as he stayed for coffee.  
  
They both sat down on the sofa, a fresh brew of coffee in each mug. "So you just left him there?" Kathryn carried on their conversation, her thumb casually tracing the edge of the mug.  
  
Chakotay grinned, "for a few hours, before we started to feel sorry for him, and flew the shuttle back."  
  
She laughed, "I can't remember doing anything like that back at the academy, but I can remember an end of year prank that my friends roped me into on our last year."  
  
"Yes?" he said, his intrigue caused him to subconsciously close the gap between them as if they were in a public place and she was about to tell him a secret that neither of them wanted anyone else to hear.  
  
"It was a stupid idea thinking back, but at the time we thought it was genius," she explained. "We got hold of several gallons of weed killer, and basically did a very large and detailed portrait of a man standing naked on the academy sports field."  
  
"That was you?" he asked laughing.  
  
She nodded, "how come you've heard of it, you left the academy before I even started."  
  
He shrugged, "I've heard stories from ex-Star Fleet Maquis that must have attended the academy after you, apparently it's become like a legendry story among the Cadets, and every year they try to recreate the portrait."  
  
Kathryn shook her head at the thought, "the best part is that we all got away with it."  
  
"How'd you manage that?"  
  
She bit her lip, "well, few people know this, but we laid out red herrings that we were sure security would find, that would cause the finger to be pointed at Professor McHugh. So I guess when he realised that he was being suspected he forced them to drop the entire investigation."  
  
"McHugh, he was an arse hole!" Chakotay thought back to his lessons with the man, "one of the few lessons where you were meant to form your own opinion, and he insisted that his ideas were right, and everyone should follow his example."  
  
"I was fortunate," Kathryn shrugged, "I only had him for politics in my last year, some of my friends though had him for the full three years!"  
  
"I was one of the unfortunate ones to have him for three years," he commented, "I've never really had much interest in the subject since."  
  
She nodded, and the conversation wound down as she took a gulp of her cooling coffee. "Could I ask you something?" she looked up at Chakotay, and was suddenly aware for the first time since they had sat down, how very close he was to her. She nodded. "When you found out you were pregnant, and that I was the father, why did you not just have an abortion?"  
  
She looked oddly at him, "do you think I should have?"  
  
"No, no, nothing like that," he shook his head, and looked intently at her, "it's just you were already engaged to someone else. Surely the last thing you wanted was to have a child by a man you barely knew, who for all you knew had used you to get access codes to escape your ship, and was spending time in prison for killing Star Fleet's so called 'allies'."  
  
Kathryn shrugged, "I guess the same reason I helped to get your sentence reduced; I didn't think that you had started off with the intention of using me to get those access codes, and as you've said before, I would have done the same if I had found myself in your situation, if it had meant preventing my crew from being punished from doing something that they believed in. I saw you back in the delta quadrant, and I saw the type of man you were, why else do you think I invited you to dinner in the first place?"  
  
Chakotay pulled back a little from her, "it's getting late, I'd better go," he said smiling gently at her. "Aaron's a great kid. Thank you for letting me come tonight, I think that's two dinners I owe you now."  
  
She smiled pleasantly, "but who's counting? I'll see you around tomorrow." With that he stood from his seat, and she walked with him to the door and let him out.  
  
When arriving back at the quarters he was staying in, the lights were out, and assuming that Seska was asleep already he crept into the bedroom and silently undressed down to his underpants. On his way back from Kathryn's quarters he had had time to think about that evening. It had been weird in a very non-weird way; he had assumed that it would be awkward, but it had been far from that, he had felt very relaxed in her company and felt himself unwind as the evening went on.  
  
They had spent a lot of time talking as they seemed to have much in common; they were both Captains, they had both attended the same academy, they were both fighting the same enemy, and although fighting for different reasons and on different spectrums of the same side, they had very similar ideals, although just expressed them in different ways. Kathryn was a diplomat at heart, and would prefer to spend days talking than hours fighting. Whereas Chakotay often found himself plunging straight into a fight.  
  
He lifted the covers and climbed into the bed. "You're back then?" he had assumed that his wife had been asleep, but with her back to him it had been hard to tell for certain. She turned over, "where have you been?"  
  
"Captain Janeway asked me to have dinner with her and my son," he didn't see the point in lying, she'd see straight through the lie anyway.  
  
"Oh right," Seska lifted herself up onto her elbow, "I forgot, you've just found out you have a son by her, and now you feel a sense of responsibility towards it."  
  
"Don't start Seska," he turned over so that he didn't have to face her.  
  
"Start what?" she asked innocently, "is it so wrong of me to be annoyed that my husband would rather spend time with a slutty Star Fleet Captain, than me?"  
  
"I never said you shouldn't be," he said tiredly, "but she's the mother of my son, so I was hoping that you might be a little more understanding."  
  
"Chakotay, I'm the mother of your new born daughter, I'm your wife! That bastard son of yours hasn't had you for his entire life, he's not going to miss you. And don't even get me started on Janeway!"  
  
"Then don't!" Chakotay breathed a little more heavily as anger started to simmer beneath his skin at her words.  
  
Seska looped an arm around him and kissed the back of his neck, "maybe I over reacted when I accused you of raping her," he grunted that he agreed. "She must have drugged you or something," she went on, "but we can't let this- one night stand, ruin our lives. I can understand why you might want to meet your accident, but there's no point in dwelling over it. When we rendezvous with the Freedom, we can pretend like none of this ever happened, Taya will be your only child, and the boy will be nothing more than a spoilt Captain's son."  
  
Chakotay didn't trust himself to respond and so kept himself silent, although fuming beneath his nonplussed exterior.  
  
"Now," she said running her hand down his chest, "it seems a little bit of a shame to be wasting these comfortable Star Fleet beds."  
  
He grabbed her hand and peeled it off from him, "I'm not in the mood Seska."  
  
She sank back, frustrated, "you never are! At this rate I might go and find someone else to satisfy my needs!"  
  
He twisted around, "fine with me," he replied curtly , "just as long as you don't mind me doing the same!"  
  
Seska growled throatily at him, before turning to sleep facing away from him.  
  
B'Elanna entered the mess hall the next morning, and seeing a familiar face she made her way over towards Chakotay. He was holding a sleeping Taya and looking down miserably into his coffee, only looking up briefly when she sat down opposite him, before returning to his glum staring competition with the warm brown liquid. "Let me guess," B'Elanna started, "Seska's giving you hell again?"  
  
"Let me guess, you're sleeping with Tom Paris," he retorted.  
  
She stopped her train of thoughts and looked at him more intently, "no," she said slowly, "why do you think that?"  
  
He looked up, unconvinced by her act of innocence, "I have my sources. Is it true?"  
  
"No it's not!" She insisted, "okay, he may have invited me to spend some time on the holodeck with him, and then to his quarters for dinner, and after several hours of him pestering me, I may have said yes, just to shut him up. But did I sleep with him? No!"  
  
"Sorry," he looked back down at his coffee, lifting it up and taking a small sip before. He suddenly put the mug back down on the table, the liquid waving a little at his sudden action, "you had dinner with him?" he asked, just as what she had said sunk in, "in his quarters?"  
  
"Chakotay, I know you don't like him," she pulled a face, "but that doesn't mean that everyone else has to dislike him!"  
  
Chakotay nodded his defeat, "I guess you're right, but it doesn't mean I have to like the idea!"  
  
B'Elanna nodded, then remembering something she looked up sharply at her best friend, "so what have you and Seska fallen out about now?"  
  
"I never said that we'd fallen out about anything," he defended himself, "and besides, you make it sound like we fall out all of the time."  
  
She raised an eyebrow and lowered her eyes, forcing herself not to comment on his last words, "I'm sorry, it's just you were looking a little low when I came in. I apologise for jumping to conclusions," she held her hands up defensively.  
  
He smiled guiltily, "no need to apologise B'Elanna, you were right, Seska and I have had a falling out."  
  
"What about?" B'Elanna pulled a concerned face, but part of her just wanted to hear the latest dirt on Seska.  
  
After he'd let out a long breath he shook his head, "I don't think that I can tell you," he said in a hushed voice, deliberately taking his attention from B'Elanna to his daughter, and fussing with Taya's blankets.  
  
The woman sitting opposite him grunted in an annoyed manner, "don't clam up on me Chakotay," she warned him, "if you can't talk to me about it, who can you talk to?"  
  
He sighed, she was right; B'Elanna was his most trusted friend, if he couldn't speak to her, there was no one else. "Okay," he looked around the mess hall secretly, the mess hall wasn't very full as the morning was late and most of those that were having breakfast in the mess hall had already had it. Even so, the mess hall wasn't exactly deserted either, but as there was no one sitting at a table close by he guess that it was probably safe enough to tell her.  
  
B'Elanna leaned across the table, closing the gap between her and Chakotay, and he did the same. "Seska found out yesterday that Taya's not my first child," he said in a hushed voice.  
  
"Not your first child?" B'Elanna sounded surprised but managed to keep her voice down, "how many do you have?"  
  
Chakotay glared at her, "do you think I'm some sort of slut or something? I just have the two that I know of thanks!"  
  
"That you know of?" she almost laughed, but stopped abruptly when she saw his face, "sorry, carry on."  
  
"I only found out myself a couple of days ago," he went on, "apparently I have a son."  
  
"Younger or older than Taya?" B'Elanna questioned with intrigue.  
  
He shook his head, "again we come back to this image of me that you seem to have created, does everyone think of me as this guy that screws and then loses women; that cheats on his wife while she's pregnant, or is it just you?"  
  
"Must just be me," B'Elanna shrugged, "so, how old is he?"  
  
Chakotay shrugged, "I don't know exactly," he muttered, but seeing B'Elanna's face he added, "but older than Taya by a few years if you must know!"  
  
"Who's the mother?" she asked the obvious question. Chakotay looked even more nervous and she leant a little closer, "not that Melanie Collins!"  
  
The man looked almost petrified at the prospect, "hell no!" he said a little louder than he meant to, and a few people looked around. Once they lost interest in looking over at the conversation, Chakotay leant in towards B'Elanna, "Captain Janeway," he said.  
  
B'Elanna looked over her shoulder, "where?" When realising that the Captain hadn't entered the room, she froze momentarily in position before turning slowly back round towards Chakotay, suddenly realising what he had meant. "How?" she frowned.  
  
"I believe the usual methods were implemented," he said as if he question was the most stupid he'd ever been asked.  
  
"You slept with her!" She struggled to restrain her voice. Before he could respond she did some quick maths in her head, "how long ago was this?"  
  
"On Voyager."  
  
"When we were working with the Voyager crew in the delta quadrant, or when we returned to the alpha quadrant and she shoved us all in the brig?" Then the memory of when they had been standing outside the shuttle bay and he had complained that Janeway had changed the access codes, returned to her and she answered her own question. "Hang on," she frowned, "you what? Slept with her in exchange for the access codes to the shuttle bays?"  
  
He shook his head, "no! It was just something that happened," he confessed, "she invited me round for dinner, and well, one thing lead to another. It was only afterwards when I overheard her security officer inform her that some of you had escaped that I asked her for the access codes."  
  
"So basically a longer version of what I just said?" she asked rhetorically.  
  
Chakotay glared at her, "something like that," he replied sarcastically.  
  
Before B'Elanna could retort however, Taya started up crying. Chakotay quickly determined that she needed a nappy change and made his excuse to go, leaving B'Elanna to sit alone in the mess hall for a short while, before she too left the room.  
  
The sickbay was almost deserted seeing as there had been no major emergencies in the last few days. One of the Maquis crew lay motionless on a bio-bed, he had received some very nasty plasma burns and the doctor had heavily sedated him to allow the medication to do it's job. Doctor Parsons smile pleasantly up at Chakotay, "your daughter's perfectly healthy," she announced.  
  
Chakotay returned the smile, "thank you."  
  
She sighed, "it's amazing how many doctors you see screw up such modifications you know," she returned her instruments to the side.  
  
"What modifications?" Chakotay shuffled with the baby in his arms until she appeared comfortable.  
  
"The genetic modifications," Parsons prompted.  
  
The cell leader shook his head, "genetic modifications?"  
  
"Yes, to make Taya appear less Cardassian," she elaborated.  
  
Chakotay looked even more confused, "no, my wife's Bejoran."  
  
Parsons looked a little nervous, "according to the readings I took of Taya a few moments ago she is half Human and half Cardassian."  
  
"Let me see."  
  
The doctor showed him over to a console, and brought up Taya's DNA sequence on the screen. She quickly highlighted the relevant sections, and brought up Human and then a typical Cardassian DNA structure for a comparison. "I'm almost certain that Taya got her human DNA from you, but these scans clearly indicate that she has fifty percent Cardassian DNA."  
  
"How the hell did my daughter end up half Cardassian?" Chakotay demanded.  
  
Parsons shrugged tensely, "you said that her mother is Bejoran, well either your daughter's mother is not your wife, or your wife is not Bejoran."  
  
The shocked father took a calming breath and tried to clear his mind, but not knowing what he was thinking anyway made it hard for him to clear his thoughts. He stumbled back a little from the console before storming out of the sickbay, heading in no particular direction, just knowing that he wanted to get as far from the doctor as possible.  
  
Chakotay stormed around his quarters, pacing frantically, trying to work out what the hell was going on. Somewhere in the back of his mind he heard his daughter crying out for him, but he had long ago blocked out the sound as it reminded him too much of a Cardassian. His daughter couldn't be Cardassian, she was half Human, half Bejoran. He had been there at her birth, held her tiny pink form for the first time in his arms, and for the first time in his life felt like he had really achieved something. Not no way in hell had he helped to bring another Cardassian life into the universe! Not a frigging chance.  
  
He let out another painful and shaky breath, reaching the wall for the hundredth time in his pacing and hitting it hard with his fist. His feet stopped abruptly and he leaned his head against the wall in front of him, for a moment he was again aware of the wailing, but closing his eyes he managed to block some more of it out. He wasn't however, able to block out the sudden bleep from the door. Unprepared for that sound he jumped back sharply and stared right at the door, willing the person behind it to go away. They didn't leave however, and the door bleeped again.  
  
"Pull it together Chakotay," he muttered under his breath, as he made his way over towards the doors.  
  
The doors opened to reveal Kathryn, dressed smartly in her Star Fleet uniform, she smiled across at him, then hearing the crying to looked a little concerned, "sorry, have I caught you at a bad time?"  
  
"Yes," he said through gritted teeth, and instantly regretted his tone.  
  
She looked a little taken aback, "I'll leave you to it then," she said in a slightly clipped voice and started to walk off.  
  
"I'm sorry," she stopped in her tracks and turned back to him, "it's been a very stressful day. Was there something in particular you wanted to speak to me about?"  
  
"Yes actually," she looked up at him, and assuming that she didn't want to talk about it in the corridor he stepped to one side of the doors. She entered into the guest quarters and the doors closed automatically behind her. "Shouldn't you see to that crying first though?"  
  
Chakotay shrugged, "she's been crying for some time," he made his way towards her basinet in his bedroom, Kathryn followed closely behind him, but stopped short at the doors to his room as he went right ahead and seemed to reluctantly pick the baby up. Robotically her held her against his chest, and tried hurriedly to sush her.  
  
After a short time, Kathryn, not being able to bare see him struggle any longer, stepped forwards and took the child from his arms. He looked momentarily confused, but handed the enfant over easily enough, and watched intently as Taya quickly went silent in the Star Fleet Captain's arms. "You're good with her," he noted, forgetting his anger for a short time, "usually she doesn't like strangers."  
  
"Maybe not all strangers have had much experience," she smiled, as Taya's head started to droop against her shoulder.  
  
A stabbing pain returned to Chakotay, and almost seemed to wind him as he saw his daughter so peaceful in Kathryn's arms. He instantly realised that even if his daughter was half Cardassian, and even if Seska had been lying to him all along, he would still love Taya, no matter what. He realised then, at that exact moment, that the pain in his gut that he'd been feeling since doctor Parsons gave him the news that his child was half Cardassian, was not hatred directed at either the enfant, the doctor or even Seska, but hatred at himself.  
  
Suddenly he felt sick and backed away from Kathryn and the now quiet Taya. Kathryn turned and looked curiously at him, "is there something wrong?" she asked as he backed against a wall and seemed to collapse beneath his feet onto the floor, where he sat and leaned back, staring straight ahead.  
  
Swiftly Kathryn returned the baby to the basinet, where, with some luck, she stayed silent as Kathryn made her way over to Chakotay. She sat down besides him on the floor, "Chakotay, are you okay?"  
  
He shook his head, but didn't say anything, his eyes fixed on the opposite wall.  
  
"Chakotay," she placed a palm gently on his cheek and turned his face towards her, looking deeply into his eyes. He looked right back at her with a cold stare, that lasted only moments before his eyes softened and met her gaze.  
  
"I can't do this any more," his eyes dropped and he looked down.  
  
"Do what?" Kathryn dropped her hand from his face, and rested it lightly on his opposite arm.  
  
He took in a deep breath and shook his head, trying to break himself out of his suddenly numb state, "the Maquis," he said slowly, "I don't think I can carry on with them."  
  
"What would you do instead?" Kathryn asked, deeply confused.  
  
He shrugged, "I don't know," he admitted, "when I first joined the Maquis my enemies were the Cardassians for killing my family, and then Star Fleet for not doing anything to protect the colonies, and signing that treaty which condemned them all to die in the first place." He looked deeply and intently at Kathryn, "but now that Star Fleet is at war with the Cardassians, and I find out I have a child with a Star Fleet Captain, I'm finding it harder and harder to call Star Fleet my enemy. And as for the Cardassians," he took a deep breath, "how can I fight them, knowing that my daughter is one of them."  
  
Kathryn frowned, "how can Taya be Cardassian?"  
  
Chakotay looked shakily across at the woman sitting besides him, and was reminded again of the attraction he had first felt for her all those years ago in the delta quadrant. He knew that what had happened then was as far as it would ever go, they were two very different people, they could never have more than that one night stand. But a large part of him wished that it had have been more, that they could still have more. He could see himself falling deeply in love with her, if he wasn't already, but he couldn't imagine her ever feeling the same way for him.  
  
He shook his thoughts back to the present day, and the question at hand. "Seska's a Cardassian," he told her, with absolute certainty that he was right, he didn't even have to ask his wife, it all made sense to him now; Seska was a fucking Cardassian! All those times their plans had been ruined by a Cardassian war ship appearing as if it had read their thoughts, all those times in battle where for some reason the enemy ships had just passed over their wounded vessel as if it was nothing more than debris. Seska had been manipulating everything.  
  
That was why it hurt so much to be with Seska, because part of him knew what she was, and was disgusted, but at the same time feeling satisfied that he was being punished for staying alive whilst his family perished. He had always had split feelings towards Seska, there was a side of him that hated her, and then another side that in some perversed manner loved her.  
  
He had realised how easily she seemed to be able to manipulate him very early on, it happened with most of the women he slept with, but for some reason had ignored the facts for a great deal of time before he could take it no more and had broken it off with her. But after his cooling off year in prison, he seemed to have forgotten the reasons for breaking up with her, and they had more or less picked up where they had left off.  
  
It had felt like more than just a coincidence at the time, when just as their relationship seemed to be grinding to another halt she announced that she was pregnant. She hadn't just told him, she seemed to slip it to the rest of the crew first, and then announced it to him; maybe she was worried that he would want her to have a termination or something, but the news had made him feel trapped all the same.  
  
All those reasons were why he came to the conclusion that it was in fact himself that he hated. On some level he had known it all along, but had ignored the nagging voice in the back of his head that told him Seska was not to be trusted. He had told himself he was fighting the Cardassians out of anger for what they had done, and the idea of killing someone purely because you didn't like them, sickened him. Sure, he had tried to convince himself that he was helping to prevent the Cardassians from killing others, but what had he really achieved in the Maquis? Their colonies still got swiftly destroyed, the people he was supposed to be protecting still died, and he didn't even care, they just became a list of names that would later be added to a memorial stone once the war was over.  
  
He wasn't exactly sure how long he had sat there thinking to himself, but as his thoughts drew to a numb close he was suddenly aware that Kathryn was still there. One arm around his back and gripping his shoulder, whilst the her other hand covered his hand, which was rested on his knee. Her legs were pulled up towards her chest, but leant lightly on him as her body leaned into his. As his head, at some point, had tilted slightly towards her, she had tilted her head against him, so that he could feel her warm breath through his hair, and on the top of his ear.  
  
With her wrapped around him, trying to comfort his confused form, he suddenly felt more at peace than he had ever felt before. It was at that point that he started to cry, feeling safe to do so for the first time in a long time, feeling safe with her at his side. She didn't say anything, just gripped his hand a little tighter and promised him that it would be okay.  
  
End of part two. 


	3. part 3

Disclaimer: Paramount owns the characters, but I own this universe so bugger off!

Author's note: Sorry that this has taken for ever and ever and ever and ever to post, I really didn't intend for it to take so long. My computer crashed, and three months later I gave up on the hopes of ever getting that chapter back again, and rewrote this. Personally I think I've done a better job second time round, so maybe the wait was better than getting a shitty part three.

Oh yeah, this may contain some bad language, like it does in the note above, but nothing too bad.

Thanks to the Queen for going through and Beta-ing this, you're a star.

Part three (finally)

It was three days since Chakotay had found out that he was married to a Cardassian, and so much had happened in those few days that it had started to make his head spin. First Voyager's Captain had confined Seska to the brig after their fears had been confirmed; that she was in fact Cardassian. Then, after a couple of days of Kathryn agonising over what to do with her; hand her over to the Maquis where she would probably be unlawfully executed, or hand her into StarFleet, where it really was none of their business to deal with her, Seska had committed suicide.

After everyone had found out that she was a Cardassian spy, few tears were shed, and those tears that were shed were more from anger, than from sorrow. Chakotay had attempted to stay hidden in the small guest quarters, but had been coaxed out when he had heard of the fighting occurring between his restless Maquis crew. At seeing that they were causing him more stress, they had agreed not to fight amongst each other, and concentrate their anger for the true enemy.

Kathryn and Chakotay walked silently down the corridor. They had been walking in silence since they had left the service, and the lack of conversation was starting to worry Kathryn. "Quite a few people turned out in the end," she looked round as he spoke, "more than I expected."

"You weren't expecting many?"

"I wasn't expecting anyone," he replied honestly.

They walked without speaking for a moment longer, "I think most of them were there for you Chakotay, not her."

He thought about it for a moment, "why do you say that?"

She shrugged, "no one gave a speech of any significance, no one cried, and everyone came up afterwards and gave you some comforting words or a pat on the back."

"They're a good crew aren't they?" he said with a sigh.

She smiled gently at him, "a crew is only as good as its Captain."

He let out a hollow and ironic laugh; "I can't be a very good Captain, having let a Cardassian spy get by me for so many years."

"Everyone has his or her weaknesses Chakotay," she attempted soothingly.

"And my weakness is that I suck as a cell leader," he said as they rounded a corner.

Kathryn smiled across at him, "your weakness Chakotay is that you're easily swayed by women. Other than that, you're a great Captain, with a great crew."

There was a beat of silence, "so what's your weakness?"

They came to a halt outside her quarters and she turned to him with a sly grin, "coffee," she replied as she tapped in her access codes and they both entered through the doors.

Tom Paris who had been baby sitting, got up from the sofa, leaving the book that he had been reading on the coffee table and smiled widely across at Kathryn. "They're both asleep," he told her before she even had to ask, and looked over to the basinet by the side of the sofa, "Taya took a while to settle down, but I haven't heard anything except snoring from Aaron for quite some time."

She closed the gap between them and placed a hand on Tom's shoulder, "thank you," she smiled.

The pilot nodded, "anytime," he said, as he made his way towards the door, nodding an acknowledgement to Chakotay before he left.

Once the doors had closed, Chakotay made his way over to where Taya was sleeping, "do you get Tom to baby sit for you often?" he asked.

She came up behind him and looked over his shoulder at the four-month-old baby, "he's Aaron's unofficial god father," he replied.

Chakotay turned to face her, studying her for a few moments as she continued to gaze down at his daughter. Eventually she looked round at him and frowned, "what?"

"Nothing," he said stepping back a little, "just trying to figure you out."

She blushed at his words, "well while you're doing that I'm just going to check on Aaron," she said, making her way towards his room.

He nodded and sat himself down on the sofa, briefly picking up the book that Tom had earlier put down and flicking casually through the pages. About a minute later Kathryn reappeared, and gave Chakotay one of the grins that he was falling in love with. "Do you want to stay for a coffee, or just take Taya back to your quarters?" she asked.

He thought for a moment, "no, I'd better not; Taya will probably start crying soon, and I don't want her to wake up Aaron," he made his excuse, "but maybe another time."

Kathryn's smile dropped and she studied his face for a moment, "are you going to be okay?" she asked.

He knew what she meant and smiled as best he could, "I've been through worse," he said with a shrug.

"You've been through too much," she said quietly, "but if you need anyone to talk to, up until tomorrow you can speak to me."

"Tomorrow?" he looked questioningly at her.

"The Maquis ship," she prompted, "we rendezvous tomorrow."

"Oh yes," he looked a little disappointed, but quickly neutralised his disappointed face, "I'd almost forgotten." Carefully he lifted the basinet from the ground, thanked Kathryn and left.

V

The Maquis ship had met them on time, and Voyager was finally free of most of their Maquis passengers. Kathryn was just about to tap her commbadge, to ask Tuvok how many were left, when the bleep sounded at the doors to her waiting room. "Enter," she said, looking expectantly at the doors.

Chakotay entered, as suggested through the doors, and gave her a small smile. She returned the smile, but to a fuller extent. "StarFleet has contacted me, and agree with my decision to return you and your crew to the Maquis vessel."

"And what if they had have disagreed?" he asked as he went to sit beside her on the sofa.

She shrugged, "same as what's happening now."

He frowned, "this is what I don't get?"

The frown was reflected back on her face, "You don't get what?"

"Are you a Maquis sympathiser or not?"

She looked a little taken aback by his question, and hesitated on whether or not to make a response.

"What I mean is; you were sent after my ship, and when I destroyed my ship you arrested us as we returned to the alpha quadrant. Then, you invited me to dinner, in your quarters," he met her gaze, "and now we have a son. The second time you run into my ship, you save us, and returning us to the Maquis, but you still ask StarFleet to confirm your decision. Now, you're telling me that even if they told you to arrest us again, you wouldn't."

Kathryn shrugged, "and what don't you get from that?"

"Why didn't you join the Maquis?"

She paused a moment before she sighed heavily, "Chakotay, I'm not that hard to figure out, just as long as you know one thing: that StarFleet is my life. I was more or less born a StarFleet officer, and I don't know any other way. Sure, I don't always agree with the Federation's decisions, but at the end of the day, I agree with many more than I disagree with, and if a war can be avoided, if only for a few years, then I think it's worth a shot."

"Even if it means that innocent lives are lost in the meantime?" he challenged.

She thought to herself for a moment, and then shook her head, "we all approach things in different ways Chakotay, and the Maquis way of doing things has never really appealed to me."

He took her answer and nodded slowly, letting his eyes drop to the floor and a deep sigh escaped his lips as he did so. "What's all this about?" she questioned.

At first he didn't answer, but eventually he lifted his head and met her gaze, "I'm not going on the Maquis ship."

Kathryn frowned, "then how are you going to get back?"

"Back to what?" he said a little harsher than he meant to, "my home was destroyed in some of the initial Cardassian attacks, most of the Cardassians that were responsible are now dead, and I'm finding myself fight the Dominion who had nothing to do with the destruction of my home. And as for the Maquis," he said a little exasperated, "half our outposts have been destroyed, not a day goes by without an average of five Maquis dying per ship. And what have we really achieved?!"

"You helped to highlight the Cardassians as the federation's enemies."

He snorted, "we were nothing more than a thorn in their side that they felt they could ignore, we were just a catalyst for the inevitable."

She paused, finding nothing else that she could say to counter his desire to leave. "And where would you go?"

Chakotay leant back heavily on the sofa and looked at the far wall opposite him. "I know a few places that I could hide out, Cardassian free, and where the federation won't be able to find me."

"And Taya would go with you?"

He shrugged, "I guess."

Reaching out, she placed a hand on his shoulder, "are you sure you're not just saying this because of everything that has happened in the past few days?"

He looked back at her, his eyes a deeper shade of brown than she had ever previously realised, "no, it's something that I've been thinking about for some time now. It's just, I've never had such a strong desire to leave before; who knows how many Cardassian spies are already working within the Maquis?"

The grip on his shoulder loosened and slipped off, "I'll get Tuvok to inform your crew that you won't be returning with them."

"No," he said abruptly, "I can tell them myself."

V

Some of the crew took it well, and understood where their cell leader was coming from. Others called him a traitor and felt equally betrayed by him as they had Seska. B'Elanna wasn't quite sure how she felt about Chakotay once he had told her that he was leaving the Maquis, but it definitely wasn't acceptance. She attempted to persuade him to stay, but he refused, and so told him that if he didn't stay with the Maquis, then neither would she, and so after a brief discussion with Janeway, it was decided that she could also stay on board Voyager until they reached a transport station.

Two days later and Kathryn sat on a quiet bridge going through status reports. Voyager's next destination was a planet named Quados that had been the latest and unfortunate target for Cardassian and Dominion attacks. The small planet that belonged to a solar system containing four other official planets had been part of the federation for a great many decades, but only twelve years previously had it been decided that the planet would be transformed from its L status, to that of M; inhabitable.

The scientists working on it had stayed on the planet for eleven years, but as the threat of the Cardassians became greater and greater, they had decided to leave and pursue other scientific projects, with the hope of one day returning to Quados. Therefore, the attack had been fruitless in the sense that it had not killed any federation citizens, but bountiful in that it had set the federation back another planet that could sustain life.

Harry Kim's voice came as a little of a surprise to Kathryn after having sat in silence for so long, but she put down the computer console positioned between her and Tuvok and looked across at the maturing ensign.

"Captain, I'm detecting two Cardassian ships on an intercept course."

"Shields," she growled, "and go to red alert. Tom, get us out of here, maximum warp."

"Yes ma'am."

Tuvok was rushing over to relieve the crewman standing at the tactical station when the ship suddenly shook, fortunately he was not far from the console, and leaned against it to prevent being thrown to the floor. Before Kathryn had a chance to think, the ship shook again, this time more violently.

"Return fire," she shouted over to Tuvok, who quickly complied.

Again Voyager was shot at, this time some sparks flew from a couple of consoles. "Shields are down to fifty percent."

"Tuvok, target their weapons," she commanded, just in case he wasn't already.

"It's having no effect," he replied after a beat, gripping the console firmly after the ship was fired at again.

They were out numbered, outgunned, and there was no chance of back up. The Captain knew it, Tuvok knew it, and the entire bridge crew knew it, but Kathryn attempted to look calm and composed, in an attempt to give her crew some hope that she had a clue what to do.

"Shields are down to twenty percent," Tuvok reported after another volley of shots.

Suddenly the ship jerked, and Tom looked a little more panicked as his hands flew over the helm controls, "Captain, warp engines are offline."

"Engineering is reporting a large energy surge in the warp core," Kim said over the commotion.

"The Cardassian vessels have dropped out of warp also," Tuvok informed.

"Tom, out manoeuvre them," she ordered just before slapping her comm. badge, "Janeway to engineering, we need warp back online."

Kathryn was a little surprised, to say the least, when instead of hearing Jo Carey's voice over the comm. system, she instead heard that of the marquis member Torres. "Where's Mr Carey?" she demanded.

"In sickbay," B'Elanna said snappily, "the warp engines are more or less dead, I don't think I can give you warp for at least another five hours."

"You have five minutes at best," Kathryn informed the engineer, "we need warp."

There was a pause on the other end, from engineering; "how about a short burst of warp?" she was offered as the ship shook again violently.

"Captain, I'm not sure how much longer I can hold off the worst of their shots with only thrusters," Tom informed her in a strained voice.

Kathryn looked over at Harry, but continued to speak to B'Elanna, "how much, and how long?"

"Warp two, for maybe three minutes or so," she was told.

Harry, getting his Captain's silent order had already started scanning the area for viable options, and with the new information reported, "there's a large asteroid field that we could make it to in less than two minutes; we could hide in an asteroid and shut off power."

"To be blown by pieces when they start randomly blowing up the asteroids," Tom said snidely, "yeah, this is going to work."

"Have any better ideas?" Kathryn challenged, and he stayed silent. "Ms Torres, when can you give me a warp burst?"

"Now," came the reply through the comm. badge.

"Tom," Kathryn said tersely, and before they knew it Voyager slipped off through space.

"There's a asteroid with a cavity large enough for Voyager," Harry informed his Captain.

"The asteroid is lined with Vellian which will amplify a blast from a Cardassian ship," Tuvok said, seeing the same readings that Harry was observing.

"But it will also protect Voyager from their scans, meaning that we can still run on minimal power without being detected," Harry was quick to counter.

"If we're blown up we're blown up," Kathryn pointed out, "it doesn't really matter how bit the explosion is."

Voyager dropped out of its warp burst, "head for the asteroid Tom."

"Captain, were venting plasma," Harry said as Voyager made its way at impulse towards his suggestion for a hide out.

"Engineering to the Bridge," she instantly recognised Chakotay's voice, "you've probably detected that Voyager's venting plasma."

"Is there a particular reason for that?" she asked, making a mental note to ask later how both Maquis members got passed the security lockouts.

The two Cardassian ships emerged out of warp, before Voyager had a change to get into their hiding place.

"Fire at the plasma with phasers, it should ignite," Chakotay finally explained.

The Captain nodded over at her first officer and he followed out her silent order. The explosion was silent in space, and Voyager and the Cardassian ships suffered little to no damage, but it was enough for them to be confused and lose Voyager on their scanners. With no further distractions Voyager slipped into the asteroid's cavity, and hid.

V

"Mind telling me how the two of you bypassed all of Voyager's security lock outs?" Kathryn demanded as she entered her ready room with Tuvok right behind her, and B'Elanna and Chakotay already waiting patiently inside.

"No offence Captain, but if we hadn't have bypassed them, Voyager would be nothing more than space debris by now," B'Elanna replied, totally missing Chakotay's warning look.

The Captain turned sharply to the half Klingon, and closed the gap a little between the two of them. "It's nice to know that you have so much faith in me Ms Torres," Kathryn said icily, through clenched teeth.

"Faith has nothing to do with it Captain," B'Elanna somehow managed to restrain herself and keep a respectful distance between herself and Janeway, but her patience was slowly running thin. "I realised that we were under attack, I went to engineering with Chakotay, your chief engineer was unconscious, and your engineering crew were in the middle of a debate as to who was in charge. If I hadn't have stepped in, then they would still be having that debate in their space graves!"

Out of the corner of her eye, Kathryn saw Chakotay suppress a smirk, but decided to ignore it. "Ms Torres, all it would have taken is one call to the bridge, to inform me that the warp core was over loading, and that you needed to shut down the engines..."

"Yes, and during that one call, your ship could have been blown up, I was perfectly within my rights to do what I did; if you want to go on a suicide mission, then go on it by all accounts, just wait until I'm no longer on board."

Kathryn gritted her teeth, "you knocked unconscious two members of my engineering staff."

"Actually," Chakotay said calmly, "I was responsible for one of them."

She shot him a glare, and then tried to take a calming breath. It worked, to some extent, and she was able to deliver her next line without clenching her teeth. "The point is, that how ever noble your ideas, Voyager's security systems were still bypassed, my own crew undermined by nothing more than 'guests', and two of them made unconscious, thanks to your joint efforts. Unfortunately, I cannot punish you, as neither of you are part of my crew, I can however, restrict you to quarters until we have reached a space station."

B'Elanna looked about ready to retort, but Chakotay held up his hand for her to stop. She looked fiercely at him, and he shook his head, "we should do what Captain Janeway says," he told her steadily.

She shot Kathryn a dirty look before returning her gaze back to Chakotay, "so she tells you that you're her son's father, and suddenly you're willing to do what ever she tells you to."

If he felt awkward by what she had just said, he didn't show it, although from the corner of his eye he saw Kathryn stiffen at her words. "I'm saying that we should do as the Captain suggests, as this is her ship."

B'Elanna looked between Chakotay and Voyager's Captain, before deciding that she wasn't going to win the argument.

"Okay, I've had enough of this," Kathryn had regained her composure, and turned to Tuvok, "please escort Ms Torres back to her temporary quarters."

Tuvok glanced over at Chakotay, but didn't make any comment, and quietly escorted B'Elanna from the room.

No sooner had they gone, and Kathryn snapped her head round to Chakotay, "you told her!"

"We're still stuck in the middle of an asteroid. I don't think that this is the best of time to be talking about that," he responded calmly.

"Right," Kathryn said cynically, "I'll get a security team to escort you back to your quarters.

"I didn't say I thought we shouldn't talk," he cut in.

"About what?" she folded her arms and glared right at him.

He held strong under her gaze, "B'Elanna is the best chief engineer that I've ever met, while your chief is incapacitated, I suggest that you use her skills to get your warp core back online."

Kathryn dropped her arms and walked away from him, "I must admit that my head is still spinning at how she was able to give us any warp power at all. And I am grateful that she was able to prevent our warp core overloading, however unorthodox her methods were," she said now facing the window with a good distance between them. She spun round suddenly, "but she has no control over her anger, knocking two of my engineers unconscious proved that."

"Then let me stay with her, I know B'Elanna, I can defuse a situation before one occurs," Chakotay pleaded.

"She has no respect for authority," Kathryn went on, "and you obviously have no respect for me."

He paused, "what do you mean?"

"I asked you not to tell anyone that you're Aaron's father, but then you go and tell her!"

"B'Elanna is my best friend," Chakotay insisted.

Kathryn took a deep breath, and her shoulders slumped somewhat, for a moment Chakotay saw her fatigue, but then noticed with some admiration how she was able to hide her sheer exhaustion within moments of exhaling. Pinching the bridge of her nose she nodded slowly, "you're right, we can talk about this later," and then after a pause, "I'll discuss your proposition with Tuvok and let you know my final decision by the end of today."

She looked back at him and he nodded. "Can I be trusted to return go so sick bay alone, or will I need a security escort?"

"Sick bay?" Kathryn frowned, "are you injured?"

He shook his head with a small smile, "I left Aaron and Taya with that EMH," he explained.

"Oh," Kathryn said a little surprised, then as it dawned upon her that she had totally forgotten about her son, she repeated with word with a little more astonishment, "Oh!"

Chakotay smiled almost knowingly, "maybe you would like to escort me there," he suggested.

For a moment she looked torn. He assumed between her duties as ship's Captain, and the role of motherhood, but eventually she gave in and nodded slowly, "okay, seeing as I can give orders over the comm. from anywhere on the bridge."

With that, the two of them left her ready room and headed across the bridge for the turbo lift.

V

They arrived in sickbay to be greeted by a rather disgruntled hologram. "I'm a emergency medical hologram," the Doctor stated as the two of them arrived in Doctor Parson's office, "not a baby-sitter."

Chakotay smiled as he took his daughter from the hologram's arms. "We should rename you then," he said, "the emergency baby-sitting hologram."

Kathryn attempted to restrain a grin at his suggestion, but was unsuccessful. Aaron ran up to her from where he had been sitting at Parson's desk, and wrapped his arms around his mother's legs. With a reassuring smile she bent down to pick him up, securing him on her hip. "I hear they're bringing out a mark 2 of the EMH design," she said to Chakotay with a sideways glance to the Doctor, "maybe the mark 2 will be more compliant."

Suddenly the hologram looked very worried. "A mark 2," he echoed, "where did you hear this?"

But before he could get a response the Captain and Chakotay had already walked out of the doors. He was about to make his way after them, when Kathryn remembered to turn off the hologram, and within moments his projection was stored safely back on the ship's computer.

V

In the end Chakotay got his way, and B'Elanna was placed in charge of engineering under the beady watch of Vorik. The engineering crew were at first opposed to the idea of following out her orders as they were all so loyal to Carey, but after seeing the true extent of her skill as an engineer as Voyager evaded the Cardassians, they decided that she wasn't that bad.

Chakotay and B'Elanna never did quite make it to a space station. Jo Carey died only days after his severe head injury, and so Kathryn decided to keep B'Elanna on until they could find a replacement chief engineer. After a quick word to StarFleet, it was also decided that Chakotay could stay onboard Voyager as a Cardassian advisor, as he had been dealing with them for many more years than Kathryn, and with all his knowledge of Maquis tricks and shortcuts, it was decided that he could be nothing short of an asset to the ship.

It was another month before Voyager made its way back to Earth. Some Cardassian ships had managed to make their way through the defence perimeter surrounding Earth, and had come close to causing havoc. Fortunately, Voyager, along with three other ships had managed to defeat the small Armada, and being only a couple of light years from Earth, were ordered back to headquarters, for repairs, crew exchange, and some well deserved rest.

Kathryn entered her quarters with the intention of packing a few things before returning to her apartment in San Francisco with Aaron. Voyager was held in a safe orbit, and with the ship fairly quiet, she had finally put a few minutes aside to prepare for her transport back to Earth. The lights were dimmed when she entered her quarters, she frowned, not remembering dimming them, then she noticed a peach rose lying on the coffee table. With a small smile, and the frown not entirely removed from her face, she crossed the room towards it, picking it up and carefully studying it.

Looking around the room once more, she noticed a trail of rose petals leading towards her bedroom. With intrigue she made her ways towards her bedroom doors, entering through them to find the room carefully lit with candles. Ignoring the safety hazard, her attention was drawn to another rose lying on the centre of her bed. She was about to make her way over to it, when she felt two strong arms slip around her waist, and he bent his head to place small kisses down her neck.

A soft groan escaped her lips, partially in surprise, and partially because he had found the spot on her neck that made her weak at the knees. She turned round in his arms and kissed him tenderly on the lips, but the tenderness quickly faded and was replaced with raw passion. She allowed the kiss to continue for a few moments longer, but eventually broke away, placing her fingers on his lips to prevent any further advances. "Donnie," she breathed, "what are you doing here?"

He smiled darkly, "what do you think?"

She dodged another advance and realising that some explanation was needed, he dropped his arms from around her, and sat down on the edge of the bed. "We were called back from our mission early, when some of the Cardassians got through the perimeter, StarFleet's short of a few ships at the moment and we've been called back to take perimeter duty."

Kathryn sighed, "and you didn't try to call and warn me that you were coming back to Earth?"

Donnie smiled softly, "and have the surprise ruined?"

She looked at him for a moment, ready to give him the third degree on how he got aboard her ship without being noticed, but the months apart from him got the better of her, and shaking her head of all questions she pushed him down on the bed and kissed him as he pulled her with him.

V

Chakotay waited patiently outside Kathryn's quarters with Aaron holding his hand, telling him all about his grandmother's home in Indiana that he was going to visit. He pressed the buzzer again, and within seconds Kathryn answered, wrapped in a silk dressing gown and looking rather flustered.

"Sorry," he needlessly apologised, "I thought you said to drop Aaron back at about seventeen hundred hours."

"I did," Kathryn said, still standing in the doorway, "what time is it?"

"Five past," Chakotay said with a small grin.

Realising the she was blocking the entrance, Kathryn took a step back, and Chakotay and Aaron entered. "You weren't waiting long out there were you? I didn't hear the buzzer until I was out of the sonic shower."

He shook his head, "no, Aaron's just been telling me about your mother's home in Indiana..." Chakotay started, but didn't finish as his attention was diverted at hearing his son shout out 'daddy' and drop Chakotay's hand.

They both looked over towards Aaron who was running towards a tall man with dark brown hair, contrasting greatly to his deep blue eyes wearing only pants. Donnie looked over at Chakotay with a frown, but smiled down at his son and lifted him up into a hug. "Hey, how's my favourite little guy?"

Aaron put his arms around Donnie's neck and kissed his cheek, "I'm not little," he insisted.

"I know," he pulled back a little to look at his son properly, "you've grown so much, not much longer and you'll be catching up with me."

Donnie then turned his attention to the stranger still standing awkwardly by the door with his wife, and waited for an introduction. "Chakotay, this is my husband, Donnie Sutherland, Donnie, this is Chakotay, he was cell leader aboard the..."

"Yes, I know who Chakotay is," Donnie cut her off, all traces of a smile long faded from his face, "what I don't know is what he's doing here."

"My ship was damaged in a Cardassian attack, Voyager came to our rescue," Chaktoay explained.

Donnie placed Aaron on the ground, "son, go to your room and start getting out all the things you want to take back home with you," he said, his eyes still fixed on Chakotay.

Aaron didn't seem to notice the mood shift, and happily complied with his father's suggestion. The moment he was gone, Donnie crossed the room, closing the gap between himself and the ex-Maquis cell leader. Instinctively Kathryn stepped forwards, and placed a hand on her husband's chest, warning him not to get any closer to the guest aboard her ship.

"Chakotay, maybe you'd better leave," it wasn't a suggestion but an instruction.

He hesitated, not liking the threatening stance that Kathryn's husband had adopted, and not particularly wanting to oppose her request for him to leave. He looked at her, silently asking if she'd be okay with him gone, and she nodded, so giving Donnie one last look, he left.

"Does he know that Aaron's his son?" Donnie turned to her the moment that Chakotay was gone.

"He saw Aaron, I didn't know what else to do, he would have guessed eventually; they look so much alike," she defended her actions.

Donnie sighed, stepping away from her and running a hand through his hair, "and what was his reaction?"

Kathryn followed her husband with her eyes as he made his way to sit on the sofa, "I think that he was upset that I hadn't told him before that he was going to be a father, when he was in prison."

He nodded, "does Aaron know?"

She shook her head and made her way over towards him, sitting beside him on the sofa, "you're Aaron's father, it would just confuse him to tell him that he had two dads."

Slowly he turned his head and faced Kathryn, "is Chakotay asking for any kind of custody rights over Aaron?"

The thought hadn't really occurred to her that Chakotay may attempt to challenge the current situation with Aaron the legal responsibility of her and Donnie. "No," she said shaking her head.

Donnie nodded his head, "he's a Maquis anyway, he wouldn't stand a chance in a court."

Kathryn reached out and placed a hand on her husband's shoulder, but before she could offer any words of assurance the doors to her son's bedroom opened and he stepped out. "I can't find Beany," he reported, looking as if he was about ready to cry.

"I think I saw it in your mum's room," Donnie told him, just before he again disappeared out of sight. He turned back to Kathryn, "how have things been between you and this Chakotay? He hasn't tried anything has he?"

She smiled mildly and shook her head, "he knows that I'm married, and I've made it perfectly clear to him that it's a happy marriage at that."

Donnie looked deeply at her, "it didn't seem to stop him when you were engaged to Mark though did it?"

"With me and Mark it was different," she attempted to explain. She paused as her son emerged from her bedroom with a stuffed Giraffe, but then he disappeared back into his room, and she continued. "I didn't love Mark enough to marry him, and Chakotay was just there at a time when I was looking for excuses not to stay with Mark. I love you," she reassured.

He nodded, but didn't immediately respond as she leant forward to kiss him. He allowed the kiss, before standing from the sofa and making his way to his son's bedroom to help him pack, leaving Kathryn to sit alone in the living area of her quarters to think to herself.

V

Chakotay was asked to stay on Voyager with the ship's skeleton crew as repair teams boarded and started to do what they did best. It wasn't that StarFleet was worried Chakotay would try to infiltrate their headquarters, but instead that an attempt may be made on Chakotay's life. Although the Maquis were unofficially no longer the federation's enemy, there were still those within the federation that still held strong negative feelings towards the Maquis. Chakotay, was more than happy to comply, Earth wasn't really his home planet, just his people's planet of origin, so he didn't feel a strong desire to return.

B'Elanna was a little pissed off to find that she couldn't return to Earth, but once she had found out that Chakotay would be staying on Voyager also, the prospect of staying ship side didn't seem so bad. Then, once she did a customary check on engineering and found the repair crews 'doing it all wrong!' she was more than glad that StarFleet had insisted she stay aboard Voyager, and spent the six days that Voyager stayed in orbit around Earth in engineering watching the progress of the repairs.

Whilst the two of them stayed on Voyager under the careful watch of Tuvok, Kathryn returned to her home in San Francisco with her husband and son.

It was the third evening into their visit home, and Donnie was due to return to his ship early the next morning, so the two of them had left Aaron with his grandmother and gone out to dinner, returning not long before midnight. Kathryn looked at him, besides her on the sofa, and blinked several times, not quite sure if she had heard him correctly. "We're in the middle of a war," she pointed out.

He nodded, "I'm not saying right now, I'm just saying that once all of this business with the Cardassians and Dominion is over, maybe we should consider having a baby or our own." She gave him a look. "You know what I mean," he went on, "I love Aaron as if he was my own, but at the end of the day, he's not, and seeing him with his real father back on Voyager really hit home."

"I'm not planning for Chakotay to come in and replace you," she insisted.

"Then what are you planning to happen?" he started, "if you allow Aaron to see Chakotay regularly, then it's not going to be many more years until he realises that he looks more like him than me."

"Donnie, you're talking years from now, and probably by then Chakotay will have lost interest and won't be part of our lives any more." Kathryn attempted in a calm and reasonable tone.

"So are you saying that you don't want any more children?" he looked away from her.

She sighed, "I'm not saying that, I knew you'd probably change you mind when you told me before we married that you weren't interested in having any more children. I just didn't expect it would be this soon, and I'm worried that you're wanting a baby for all the wrong reasons."

"Like what?" he looked sharply back at her.

"I don't know," she rolled her eyes, "some kind of competitive male thing, jealousy-"

"Then what could the right reasons be?" he cut her off.

Kathryn met his gaze, "wanting Aaron to have a little brother or sister, to be involved in a life from the very start, to have your name written on some stupid birth certificate."

Donnie let out a deep breath, she had some good points. "I guess that I want this for all of the reasons you've mentioned, and more, both good and bad."

She smiled slightly at hearing him admit it, before he leant slowly forwards and kissed her gently on the lips. Kathryn pulled away slightly, and locked her eyes with his, "we can talk about this more next time we see each other-"

He nodded, and cut off her next words as he again advanced and met his lips with hers.

V

It had been five weeks since that night, and Voyager was again heading deep into space to patrol some parts of the neutral zone until they received another mission. StarFleet was short of skilled officers, and as they could spare no chief engineers to replace Carey aboard Voyager, and so it was decided before Voyager left Earth's orbit that B'Elanna may stay aboard, provided that she didn't physically harm any more crewmembers.

Kathryn had left Aaron with her mother; feeling that war filled space was no place for a child still under the age of four. Chakotay had considered Kathryn's offer to leave his daughter with Gretchen, but had declined, feeling that he would miss out too much of his daughter's life should he be parted from her. Some days, as Voyager came into conflict with Dominion and Cardassian ships he would regret his decision, but other days when Taya started to walk and gurgle half words he would be silently grateful that he had brought her with him.

The relationship between Kathryn and Chakotay was complicated but pleasant. When Aaron had been onboard, Chakotay would frequently looked after his soon when Kathryn was on duty, and he had nothing more important to do, but with their son gone, they could no longer use that as an excuse to spend time together. So they formed new reasons to have dinner together, and spend time on the holodeck with each other. Somehow, after everything that had happened, they steadily started to form a solid friendship, that only narrowly escaped destruction after a thoughtless act.

Chakotay walked through the bridge, acknowledging Tuvok with a nod, and trying his best not to look in Paris' direction, knowing full well that him and B'Elanna had begun to pursue a more intimate relationship, despite Tom's betrayal of the Maquis some four and a half years before. He stood outside the Captain's ready room, and waited a little longer than he would normally have expected to be admitted. The doors opened and he walked from the heavily lit bridge to the deathly dark ready room.

He saw Kathryn sitting by the window, her silhouette just visible against the stars moving quickly past the ship. The doors behind him closed, and the light that had flooded into the room was gone in that instant. "Kathryn?" he questioned cautiously, over the past couple of months he had thought he was starting to figure hr out, and from what he had figured out about her, he knew that he would never totally understand her.

She seemed to looked around at him, although he couldn't be totally certain as his eyes attempted to focus in the absence of light. "Is there something in particular you wanted?" her voice sounded dull and empty.

A few cold words were better than none he decided as he slowly made his way towards her; slowly because he didn't want to trip over the steps that led to her couch. "I was going to ask if I could help out filling in some of the bridge duties as we're a few crew down from the last Cardassian attack. But now," he paused, as his shin came in gentle contact with the edge of her coffee table, "I going to ask if anything is the matter."

"Donnie's dead," she replied flatly.

His jaw dropped open, and suddenly everything made sense. With some skill he made his way blindly past the coffee table and to the couch, sitting down beside her. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, but she turned to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and nestling her head against his chest. After a moments hesitation he held onto her just as securely, and drew circles on her back with his hands, in a silent attempt to comfort her.

It was a few minutes until he realised that she was crying, and instinctively when he heard the muffled sob, he kissed the top of her head, then pressed his lips to her forehead. He didn't like to see her so upset, and at that moment in time would have done anything to lessen her pain. Not really thinking about what he was doing he lifted her chin and forced her to face him. In the streaked star light he saw tears glistening as they fell down her cheeks, and seeing her pained expression he did the first thing that came to his mind. He leaned forwards and placed his lips gently against hers.

She let him kiss her, for a moment at least, before she pulled away from him. "I'm sorry," he said, instantly regretting his action.

She didn't seem to hear him and pulled from his embrace completely, to stand and step back from him.

"I wasn't thinking."

"Maybe you should leave," she suggested in a harsh tone.

Chakotay paused, but could feel her glare on him so stood from the sofa, and made his way past her, "I'm sorry," he repeated, but at her lack of response eventually left, hoping that he hadn't made things worse.

V

It felt like deja vu as he stood outside Kathryn's quarters late the next morning, waiting patiently for her to admit him. He pressed the buzzer once more, deciding that if she didn't respond this time then he would leave her be, and just as he turned to leave the doors opened and so he went inside. She was sitting at the table in the dining area of her quarters with a padd in one hand and coffee in the other.

"I'm sorry about yesterday," Chakotay attempted.

She didn't even glance in his direction, just gulped down some more coffee and nodded, "is there something that you'd like to speak to me about other than what happened yesterday?" she asked coldly.

"No," he replied after a beat.

"Then would you mind leaving?"

"Kathryn," he pleaded as he closed the gap between them, "I can't say how sorry I am for what I did, it was stupid and thoughtless," he paused for a moment as he sat down opposite her, he reached out and attempted to take her hands in his, but she pulled away. "I just couldn't stand to see you in so much pain, and I just did the first thing that came to mind."

She finally met his gaze, "have you finished yet?"

He looked at her for a moment or two, thinking whether to cut his losses and leave or to stay and try to patch things up. "I know what it's like to be the Captain," he stated, deciding to stay for a bit longer, "and that as the Captain you have to appear perfect; hiding your pain and anxiety behind a mask. I know how suffocating that mask can be Kathryn, but I'm not officially part of that crew, you don't have to hide anything from me, so once you've stopped being mad at me, then the offer is there for you to come and talk to me."

She continued her steady gaze at him, "Is that all?"

Chakotay stood, "yeah, that's all," he replied before leaving.


	4. part 4

Disclaimer: Paramount owns Star Trek: Voyager, but not this AU.

Author's note: This was only supposed to be a three parter, believe it or not, and I'm already onto the fifth! So if you want me to keep writing then you'd better start reviewing (so now I'm resorting to blackmail, shakes head in shame).

Anyway, this has not been beta-ed because my usual beta reader has been annoyingly busy for the past few days, glares at Kathryn Janeway (obviously not the real one), and so I must apologise in advance for having more mistakes than usual.

Part 4

They sat opposite each other in her office, forced to work together to discuss further anti-Cardassian strategies, and to make sense of some of the intelligence that had been collected on the Dominion. It was two weeks since 'that day', and they had spoken to each other comparatively little, and she had passed him several times in the corridor without even acknowledging him. He had been putting up with it, he felt in some ways that he deserved it, but it annoyed him a little that she was using him as a type of punch bag; she was angry at her husband for dying, but felt that she couldn't be angry at someone dead, so concentrated her anger on Chakotay.

In turn, Chakotay started to hate Donnie. Donnie was the reason that Kathryn hated him. Donnie's death would be remembered as heroic and noble, whereas all those of the Maquis would be remembered as trouble makers who deserved it. Donnie was the man who did all the stuff with Aaron that Chakotay should have been doing. Donnie was the man who married the woman Chakotay should have married. Chakotay back tracked on his last thought, but didn't glance up from his padd, realising that Kathryn was right opposite him, and started to wonder why that thought had occurred in his head.

Eventually he did glance over the edge of his padd, and saw her concentration focussed on her computer console. She was beautiful, even when she was mad at him, he decided as he gazed across at her. He still wasn't completely sure himself why he had kissed her that other night, the only reason that came to mind was that it had felt right and natural- at the time. That night, years before, after their short trip to the delta quadrant, still confused him. The events after they had had sex had clouded his memories over the years, he had fooled himself it was to get her command codes for when the Maquis revolted- and then the notion that he had no idea of his crew's plans until Tuvok had hailed the Captain as they lay beside one another, had been the bit that he had altered. Fuming with anger as he was locked in prison, he had blocked out that part; the part that had him sleeping with Voyager's Captain, with no alternate motives.

She didn't seem to notice that he had stopped working, or that he was gazing across at her. Was it love? He knew he cared for her, he knew he was attracted to her, and he knew he had great respect of her. But did he love her? It was ironic, he thought, that as soon as he should start to question if his feelings for her went deeper, that she should start to silently hate him. At least if Donnie was still alive then he couldn't be accused of pursuing a woman at a very venerable point in her life.

She looked up and caught him staring at her, he instantly looked away, broken from his own musings, only just catching her blush.

They stayed in silence for a few moments longer before Chakotay broke it. "So how's Aaron doing?" he asked; their son was safe ground when it came to conversations, as it was his son also and she couldn't accuse him of prying.

Kathryn looked across her desk, she really had hoped on this taking no more than an hour, if they got talking that could easily double or triple. "Fine," she replied.

"How did he take the news that Donnie's dead?" Chakotay asked gently, hesitantly, he had gone to Tuvok about a day after Kathryn had told him, to get the details; it had happened just as he had expected, went down with the ship after a Dominion attack, that is after having transported most of his crew aboard a neighbouring ship. His hatred towards the man just intensified the more he thought about it.

"He doesn't know," she replied, quickly averting his gaze and looking back across at her computer screen.

Chakotay's jaw hung for a second, "no one's told him?"

"He's not even four yet, he's not going to understand," she attempted to give him her reasoning.

"Well someone should at least try to tell him."

"Don't tell me how do deal with my own son Chakotay, that's my responsibility not yours," she snapped back, her eyes boring into him.

"He's my son as well you know," he shot back, "I have just as much of a right over him as you do."

"No Chakotay, you don't, his father is dead, and that's the end of the matter," her voice rose a little more as the sentence spilled from her mouth.

"You can't shut me out from his life," he insisted.

"Watch me."

"So you're just going to let him grow up without a father?"

"Children have grown up in much worse conditions."

Chakotay bit his lip, knowing that he should probably just walk away, but he wanted to see this argument through. "Donnie might be dead, but I'm still here, and if when Aaron gets older he decides that he doesn't want to have anything to do with me, then that's his decision, it's not yours."

Suddenly she stood from her chair and leaned heavily on the table in front of her, in an attempt to tower over him. "I have been responsible for him since before he was born, and if I don't want my son to be raised with a criminal father, then that's my choice. If," she strained the word, "when he gets older he does want to meet you, then I don't think I'll have any right to object, but whilst he's too young to make his own life altering decisions, he's not going to have any further contact with you."

Chakotay stood also at her last sentence, this time he was towering over her, "are you saying that I'm not good enough to be a father? What about Taya, would you say I'm not good enough to be her father also?"

Kathryn's jaw dropped slightly, "no," she said rather stubbornly.

"Oh right, so I'm just not good enough to be a father of your child," he stated, "well maybe I don't want to have anything to do with Aaron if it means that I have to have anything to do with you."

He turned and started to head for the door to her office, turning just before he reached it to see her looking slightly dumb struck, still standing in front of her desk. "You know Kathryn," he said in a much softer, but equally resentful tone, "you can push me away as much as you like, but it's not going to bring Donnie back to you."

They stood facing each other for a moment or two longer, their gazes fiercely meeting one another, before she looked away from him, and he slowly turned to leave. He took another few steps towards her door, but stopped dead when her heard a muffled sob from behind. Again, he turned to face her, this time to see her slumped in her chair, with tears starting to glisten on her cheeks. She saw him looking at her and looked away, trying to shield her face with her hand. He thought about leaving, part of him didn't care that she was crying, but then another part of him, a more influential part of him, told him to stay. So he did.

Slowly he made his way back over to her desk, then walked around it, and knelt in front of her. He pulled her hand from her face and forced her to meet his gaze, which she only did so reluctantly. She attempted to pull herself together, to stop the tears from flowing, and even to tell him she was okay and that he should leave. She got as far as: "I'm fi-" before breaking off her sentence as tears started to cascade down her face.

Gently and tenderly Chakotay eased her off her chair, deciding that comforting her whilst they were on two different levels would be far to complicated. He pulled her down to the ground where he was kneeling, and after shuffling around for several moments, positioned her between his legs, wrapping his arms around her. She shook softly as more sobs escaped her, and he ran his hand over her upper arm, trying to sooth and calm her.

As she became comfortable in his embrace, and had forgotten what had happened last time she had let her guards down with him, she started to lean heavily back into him. Eventually her crying subsided and they continued to sit on the ground, gaining pins and needles, but neither particularly wanting to move. After some time had passed with Kathryn unmoving in his arms he was starting to wonder if she had fallen asleep, he shifted a slight amount to save his arse the worst possible pain when he did eventually did stand back up, but she stayed still.

"He wanted to have children," she eventually said, her words little more than a whisper. He was about to ask who, but stopped himself when he remembered why they were sitting on the floor. "But all he had was Aaron, and Aaron's not entirely his; he's yours."

"You're worried that I'll replace Donnie with Aaron?" Chakotay asked softly.

"Would your involvement with Aaron, make Donnie any less his father?" the question wasn't rhetorical.

Chakotay paused for a long moment, "not any less your husband," he eventually said.

"But Donnie would become less significant than you; Aaron would forget him before his forth birthday, and it wouldn't take many years for other people to forget that Donnie was there when Aaron took his first steps. Or that his first words were spoken to Donnie in the kitchen whilst he made dinner. Or Donnie was there when I had to take Aaron into hospital."

"People?" he asked, "or you?"

She stiffened in his arms slightly, "what are you saying?"

He bit his lip, but pressed on, "he was a big part of your life for three years Kathryn, I don't think you'll ever forget him; your perception of him may change, but you won't forget him. I promise."

She relaxed again in his arms. "I'm sorry about what I said."

"We don't have to talk about that now."

She rested her head back on his shoulder, "are you legs killing?" she asked.

"No," then after a beat he added, "they're dead."

A soft laugh escaped her mouth, but she subdued it and shifted away from him, and slowly they made their ways back to their feet. He watched her as she attempted to compose herself, and shot him the smallest of smiles as she did so, and that's when he realised that he loved her.

V

Six months later.

Kathryn stood outside Chakotay's quarters with a box under one arm. It hadn't been long since she had pressed to enter, but was just about to press it again when the doors opened up to present a smiling Chakotay. "Morning," she greeted him with a grin.

"Is that for me?" he asked, referring to the box, "oh Kathryn, you shouldn't have."

She gave him a lopsided smile, "I didn't," they both knew it, "is the birthday girl about?"

He took a step back and invited her in, "she's with her aunty B'Elanna," he nodded in their direction.

B'Elanna looked up at the mention of her name, momentarily taking attention away from Taya, "Captain," she started to stand, a little worried as she had been caught off guard.

"It's okay," Kathryn waved a hand, "this is a social call."

It was then that B'Elanna saw the present and blushed a little at having felt the need to act so formally around Voyager's Captain, around her Captain.

"Would you like a drink of something?" Chakotay brought attention back to himself.

"I could kill for a coffee," she replied, making her way over to B'Elanna and Taya on the sofa, she put the present down on the table, and took Taya into her own arms as B'Elanna extended the one year old over towards her.

Chakotay watched the scene in amazement for a moment or two as he waited for the coffee to materialise from the replicater. He had never thought he would see the day where B'Elanna and Kathryn would sit besides one another on the sofa, chatting comfortably about nothing or everything in particular. With a bleep the coffee was done, and he took it across the room to where they were sitting.

"But hopefully we should be able to bring the holo-emitters back online in a day or so," he caught the end of B'Elanna's sentence as he put the coffee down in front of Kathryn. Their conversation continued unhindered by the slight interruption as he went over to his dining table to grab a chair, taking it over to the two women, and sitting down opposite them.

As he sat down B'Elanna looked across at him, "oh, you shouldn't have bothered getting a seat, I didn't plan on staying long," she told him, then added a short explanation, "I've had to leave Vorik in charge of engineering."

Kathryn smothered a smile, but Chakotay didn't hide the grin at the thought of the two of them constantly bickering in engineering. "Okay," he said standing as she did, "well are you coming for dinner tonight?"

She nodded, "yes, but are you sure you don't mind me bringing Tom?"

He shrugged, "not if you don't."

B'Elanna studied him for a moment longer, before looking over Chakotay's shoulder and at the Captain, smiling and bidding her good bye.

Once the doors had closed behind her, Chakotay sat back down on his chair, and shot Kathryn a quick grin. "Those two are becoming awfully close," she noted.

Reluctantly he nodded, "I know."

She leant her head to one side and looked at him for a moment, "and how do you feel about that? Really?"

He let out a deep sigh, "really," he echoed, "well, officially it's great, she's one of my best friends and I'm very happy for her, but," he paused, thinking of the right words, then giving up, "but it's Tom!"

Kathryn nodded, it was no secret now that five years ago on Voyager as the Maquis had started to escape her ship, she had asked Tom to 'join' them, and lead them into a trap. It had worked, kind of, Tom had lead them into the trap, but a little later than expected. Voyager had arrived earlier than planned to meet the rouge shuttles, and some of them, including one that B'Elanna had boarded, had noticed Voyager and fled before they could be apprehended. However, Voyager had been able to reclaim just under half of its shuttles, and that was how Chakotay had ended up in prison, not that long after.

"I don't think that I can say anything to change your mind about him Chakotay, but from my point of view he's a good officer; he's changed a lot since you met him in the Maquis, and he's come along way since he was released early from his sentence."

Chakotay clasped his hands and nodded, "well, if you can trust him enough to fly your ship," he looked up, "then I guess I can trust him enough with B'Elanna."

She smiled slightly, her attention only drawn away from him when Taya squirmed against her, and she had to readjust her hold on the baby.

V

Dinner was just the five of them, including the baby, but Taya had gone to bed not long after they had started, and so it was really just the four of them. Kathryn's quarters were much bigger than Chakotay's and so they had eaten there. Maybe it was the setting, or maybe just that the Captain was present, but the first half an hour of the meal had been almost painful as B'Elanna and Tom had sat almost to attention whilst they ate. Thank god for alcohol, thought Kathryn over an hour later as they took their coffees over to the sofa.

The conversation moved from what a good cook Chakotay was, passed the jokes about Kathryn's own culinary disasters to ship goings on, and the current gossip before B'Elanna and Tom decided they had better leave as they had early shifts the next morning. They had made a quick pilgrimage to Aaron's old bedroom, where Taya was peacefully sleeping, wished her a final happy birthday for that year and then left, leaving Kathryn and Chakotay alone to enjoy another brew of coffee.

"Has Tuvok sent you the mission specs yet?" she asked as she sat down on the sofa, removing her boots.

He sighed inwardly as he carried the coffees over to her, she was doing her usual trick of turning the conversation to ship duties to avoid a charged silence. "Yes." He handed her her cup.

"And what do you think?" he noticed her tilting her head in all different directions and realised that she probably was suffering from a stiff neck.

"I'm not to sure about this guy... Crovak, and I'm not too happy about you going down on your own to meet him," he said honestly, putting his coffee down on the table in front of them.

"I won't be on my own," she insisted, still looking highly uncomfortable, "I'll have a couple of security escorts hanging back in case something happens."

"I don't know," he shrugged as she took a sip of her coffee, "I'm just feel a lot more comfortable if I was there with you, I've got much more experience with handling men like him, and I think I'd have a better idea if he was trying to lead us astray."

"Then why don't you come with me?" she said with a smile.

He frowned, "would that be okay?"

"Well, that's the entire reason that StarFleet's letting you stay on this ship; for your experience outside the federation handbook."

Chakotay chuckled lightly at her words, "good, then all I need to do is find someone to look after Taya for a few days," he gave her a dimpled smile.

"I don't think that will be a problem, almost the entire crew adores her," Kathryn pointed out.

"Almost?" Chakotay folded his arms in mock horror, but the edge of a grin crept across his mouth.

"Well, I'm sure Tuvok would if he wasn't Vulcan," she laughed.

He laughed with her for a moment, before catching a pained expression flicker across her face. "Okay, I've had enough of this," he said, closing the gap between them.

She frowned, "what?"

He gently but somewhat forcefully turned her away from him, so that most of her back was exposed to him, and just as she was about to resist, he placed his hands down on her shoulders, her shoulder length hair just touching his knuckles, and undid the first few knots. She instantly became like putty in his hands, and shifted even further around, so that she had to sit cross legged, to give him better access to her shoulders and neck.

She closed her eyes and leaned back into him, "that's good," she sounded far away, and she was, "how did you learn to massage-" his thumb undid another knot and she let out a short and throaty groan, "like that," she eventually finished.

Chuckling lightly at how she had suddenly gone from being one of the most fierce and respected StarFleet Captains to just a woman totally under his control, in a manner of seconds, he replied, "I've had a lot of practice, my mother used to get sore necks all the time- I was the only one she's trust not to make it worse-"

"You know just where it aches," she leaned back heavily into him, enjoying the sensations.

He found another spot and she struggled to suppress a gasp, "yes. I do," he replied, knowing exactly what he was doing.

His words caused her eyes to flicker open. He noticed that the mood in the room had changed, and was suddenly aware of the charged atmosphere, and silently his hands came to rest on her shoulders. They both stayed deadly still, both unsure what to do next, but both knowing what they wanted to do next.

Taking in a deep breath, Kathryn pulled away from him, and his hands dropped to his lap. She turned around, at the same time putting some distance between them on the sofa, until she was up against the arm. "It's getting late," she pointed out.

He nodded, "I'd better go and get Taya."

She watched him rise from the sofa and walk towards Aaron's bedroom, emerging a minute later with a sleeping baby. She shifted dreamily in his arms, before resting her head back against his shoulder, and falling back into a deep sleep. Kathryn stood, and met him at the door. They stood in silence for a few moments, before she broke it, "thank you for the massage."

He smiled, "any time," and let himself out.

V

She had her hair down, he noted as they walked through the busy streets. He wasn't sure why he thought it odd, it wasn't the first time he had seen it taken out of the bun, but he guess it was the first time he had seen her do so whilst on duty. This was duty- kind of.

Kathryn led the way, like usual, and Chakotay started to realise that people were giving the small group funny looks as they walked. At first he had started to wonder why; was it their clothes, their hair styles, their species- but the further they walked the more he realised that they should be blending in. Then it hit him as they rounded a corner, and he realised that the scene of a woman leading a group of three men round the streets with a triquarder in her hand, must look a little odd.

"Kathryn," he caught up with her in a few strides, and gently grabbed her elbow.

She stopped and turned, looking about ready to reprimand him for not addressing her by rank, when her face softened slightly as she remembered one of two things. One, that calling her Captain in the middle of the street would raise a few eye brows, and cause some unwanted attention, or two, that he was strictly speaking under her command.

"We're getting some strange looks," he said, taking her to one side, to allow the flow of people to go past.

She frowned, and glanced quickly around, "have you any idea why?"

"I think it's the way we're walking," he pointed out, "maybe you and I should walk together, and get Ryder and Beran to follow at a distance."

She looked across to them as they joined the two, wondering why they had stopped. "Chakotay thinks we're looking too conspicuous," she informed them, "you two pair off, and follow us at a distance."

They nodded, and before Chakotay could add anything further she bolted off down the street, not really bothering to wait for him. He caught up with her, finally, after he managed to manoeuvre himself back into the crowd without getting knocked over. "We're not in a hurry you know," he came up close behind her.

She thought about what she was doing, and slowed her step slightly, "sorry," she glanced across at him, "I just want to get this over and done with as quickly as possible."

"Well rushing isn't going help, it's just going to get us lost," he pointed out calmly, "and maybe you could do a better job of concealing that triquarder," he added in a quieter voice, "before you get mugged."

She rolled her eyes at him, "how can I get mugged with you with me, and two security officers not that far behind?"

He shrugged, "well at least now it's more obvious that I am with you, before it must have looked like we were stalking you."

A short laugh escaped her lips at that, "yeah, you do look like the stalker type in those clothes," she mocked him.

StarFleet had some part in their 'what to do' manual, that stated that you should always meet people for the first time in a public place. Kathryn entered the public house with Chakotay close behind her, looked around, and suddenly wished that they had agreed to meet Crevak somewhere else.

The bar was smoky, and smelt strongly of spilt alcohol. The floor that they stood on felt sticky beneath their feet, proving her earlier thought. There was a hum from around the room, but not the friendly hum that she remembered from bars back on earth, but the lucrative and deadly hum that brought back memories of some previous away missions that intelligence had sent her on. The place was filled with many different species, some of which were human, and she was sure she saw one of two Vulcans... or maybe they were Romulans, but one thing was certain, apart from a couple of bar staff, and a few prostitutes that hung around, they were all men.

Quite a few looked hungrily up when she entered, and she felt Chakotay's hand come down protectively around her back, and came to rest on the small of her back. He looked around at the faces, and stared them off, as if to say that she was his woman, and they he wasn't going to take any of their shit. Once enough of them had looked away, she felt less hesitant to make her way further inside. "This is the right place, right?" she asked as they made their ways over towards the bar.

He didn't answer, but caught the attention of a bar-tender. "We're here to speak with Crevak," he informed the man behind the other side of the bar table.

The man looked dully at them, "are you ordering anything?"

Chakotay bit his lip, "we'll have two of your cleanest beers," he said, reaching into his pocket, "leave them in their bottles," he added, remembering a very bad previous experience as a cadet.

The man nodded, and proceeded to produce two from under the bar, removing the caps, and placing them on the table. Chakotay passed a gold coin across the bar, knowing that it was more than enough, and nodding Kathryn in the direction of a vacant table against a wall as he picked up the bottles.

She shuffled along the bench, to make room for him, and he sat beside her, placing the bottles on the table. After examining the label on his bottle for a moment, he hesitantly took a sip. "You're not going to drink that are you?" she looked horrified.

He swallowed slowly, and then looked back at her, "just trying to blend in," he shot her a quick grin.

Rolling her eyes she looked around the murkily lit room, annoyed not to see her security officers not already sitting down at a table.

"Maybe they got a bit lost," he suggested as he realised who she was looking for.

"Maybe," she looked across at her beer, then up at him, "is it any good?"

"Not really," but the other bottle's not for you anyway," she shot him confused expression, "it's for Crevak."

She folded her arms, in mock hurt, "fine."

He chuckled, reaching an arm up and placing it across the top of the bench, touching lightly against her shoulders, "Kathryn, remember I've seen you when you're drunk, and trust me, you don't want to get off your face round here."

She looked at him, about ready to retort, when her attention was drawn to the opposite side of the table, as someone sat down on the other bench.

"I'm guessing one of you is Captain Janeway," he looked between the two of them.

He was shorter, and less intimidating than either of them had been envisioning, and more importantly he was Human. They had been expecting to meet a Cardassian, or a Romulan, never had they thought that the contact would be of their own species.

"She is," Chakotay said, without taking his eyes off the man opposite, "and you are?"

"Crevak," Crevak said, removing a bag that had been slung over his shoulder.

"No offence," he went on slowly, "but how did you manage to infiltrate Cardassia prime?"

"The same way that you think I'm not capable," he responded, then looked over at Kathryn, "so what? Does this guy speak for you?"

Chakotay was about to say something, but thought better against it as he received a warning glare from Kathryn. "No," she sounded annoyed.

"Oh right," he cut her off before she could say anything, then looked quickly around the room, "no offence, but I was expecting to see at least one other escort with you, and seeing as you are a woman, and you are here of all places, I must say I'm even more surprised to see that you've only brought along one companion, and a companion that could easily get the two of you into a fight with that attitude he has."

"Attitude!" he was about to tell the guy where to get off, when he received a painful jab in the ribs from her elbow.

"Do you have the charts?" she went on.

"Do you have the latinum?" he countered.

Chakotay folded his arms, "why do you want latinum? This planet uses gold for its currency."

Crevak seemed to sigh, "first because I know gold's worthless to StarFleet, and secondly, because I don't plan on staying here for much longer, this is just where I like to do business."

"I can see you took your time to pick a really nice place," he pointed out sarcastically, still a little pissed off that Kathryn was meeting him in the poor excuse for a bar.

He ignored Chakotay's comments, and turned his attention back to Kathryn, "do you have it?"

She nodded, making a mental note to have a word with her 'companion' later about his attitude, in the mean time she placed a small pouch on the table.

"Very good," he reached into a jacket pocket, looking over at two men arguing by the bar as he did so, but turning back as he placed a small device, about the size of a small match box, on the table. "All the data's there," he said, reaching out for the pouch, opening it, and starting to check the contents.

Kathryn picked up the small device and turned it in her hands, lifting her triquarder and starting to run a few scans on it, just to check if it was a data storage device, and it was likely to contain the kind of information that they needed.

They all turned their heads as they heard a loud smack, and saw one of the men that had previously been arguing, fall to the ground. Two other men, came up behind him, and helped him to stand, and looked just about ready to pound some punishment into the other, as the other alien threw something small at them, and fled the bar. One of the three remaining aliens crouched and picked up whatever had been thrown, frowned, then looked up in horror as he realised what it was.

Before anyone could do anything, Kathryn and Chakotay witnessed a large ball of light engulf the three men, part of it disappearing up into the ceiling and down into the floor as it expanded. It held its shape for a moment or two, some people looking on mesmerised, and some others looking horrified, and Kathryn wasn't quite sure, but she thought that those inside the light had frozen in their positions. She didn't have time to think, as with a loud bang the sphere of light suddenly collapsed, and before the roof came crashing in, am empty space could be seen where it had been.

Instinctively Chakotay reached across, and covered her smaller body with his own, staying conscious for the first onslaught of things falling, before something smacked the side of his head, and his body went limp and scarily lifeless on top of hers.

V

Review!

And thank you for reading.


End file.
